Wesley Clark Scares The Shit Out Of Me
                                     by Jim Republican

Before Wesley Clark entered the Democratic candidate race, I thought having good old Bush for another four years was a sure thing. A few guys like Howard Dean looked like they might prove to be a little troublesome, but nothing $200 million dollars' worth of funding couldn't handle. I was really looking forward to an election where Bush would win for real, without having to go through all those questionable means and whatnot.

But now Wesley Clark is going to fuck everything up.

Here's the main reason why this man scares me so much: he is practically a god damned robot. He doesn't really have any original thoughts, relying instead on his party's rhetoric and the pre-established policies and positions of his Democratic peers. Hell, he was even formally identified with the Republican party, to give you an idea of how completely shapeless his ideas and values are. In other words, Wesley Clark is George W. Bush's exact match. He's a shoe-in to win the Democratic candidacy, and maybe even the whole god damned election.

Why the election? Why not just half, if he's Bush's exact match? What puts him over the top is that he has not recently invaded any countries for questionable reasons. Now, don't go calling me a flaming liberal or anything; I am okay with us being in Iraq, as long as I don't have to pay or be hurt by it. But all I'm saying is that some of the wackos in this country aren't okay with it, and they might see Clark as a Bush who hasn't made that one and only mistake. Besides the economic and environmental mishandling, I mean.

Wesley Clark is going to be poor old Bush's downfall, you mark my words.

Wesley Clark Scares The Shit Out Of Me
                                     by Joe Democrat

Before Wesley Clark entered the Democratic candidate race, I thought our party was on the road back to recovery. A few guys like Joe Lieberman looked like they might prove to be a little troublesome, but nothing someone like Howard Dean couldn't handle. I was really looking forward to an election where we'd have a candidate who actually sincerely stood for a few Democratic values, rather than some kind of mincing, conservative slight leftist like Al Gore.

But now Wesley Clark is going to fuck everything up.

Here's the main reason why this man scares me so much: he is practically a god damned robot. He doesn't really have any original thoughts, relying instead on his party's rhetoric and the pre-established policies and positions of his Democratic peers. Hell, he was even formally identified with the Republican party, to give you an idea of how completely shapeless his ideas and values are. In other words, Wesley Clark is George W. Bush's exact match. He's a shoe-in to win the Democratic candidacy.

Why? What puts him over the top is that he is an actual, retired general. This is a big deal for people. They're afraid that Kerry or Dean is going to get into office, experience a terrorist attack on our country, and crawl under their desk as they urinate themselves, making small whimpering sounds. They may or may not actually do this. But can't we give them the chance?

Wesley Clark is going to be our party's downfall, you mark my words.

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