Letters From The Readers

In an unusual twist, this update contains many letters that don't make a whole lot of sense. Read it anyway, though!

Correcting a reader.

This story is pretty good but realy is that why guys marry girls just to "fuck" some guys do get married because they love them !!!! - Veronica

Josh: Nope, 100% of guys get married to fuck their wives, whom they don't love. You didn't know that?

It is a good idea!

Hey! Here's an idea! How about Goth Gary gives us an update, I'd really like to know what he's been up to in all of his sexy-spooky-and-totally-dark/gothic life. If he refuses, please allow me to tie him to a chair and force him to view pictures of puppies, unicorns, and rainbows.
That is all.

The coolest person in the world, - Cool Kid Abby

Josh: I would love to see another Goth Gary update as much as you, Cool Kid Abby, but unfortunately, Gary is one of the few portions of the site that isn't under my control, since he foolishly refused my offer to give him a shiny red matchbox car in exchange for all rights to his stories and brain. I can only pester him and hope that someday he will return...

The public demands Goth Gary!

first of all i dont know if thats u in the picture but who ever it is looks horrible! that make up make them look so poser like.... ok and secondly gothic is not a dress style, im in school for fashion right now, and serioulsy it look hideous!!! im only 16 and i know ur saying ohu have no idea what ur talking aboot but serously man, its looks horrible. NOt tryin to be mean at all imnot a mean person im just saying what i see and what i feel aboot that picture!

i/m or email me back! asap - Brittani

Josh: Don't deny it, Brittani: you'd do Goth Gary at the drop of a hat, makeup and all. I know I would, and already have (figuratively).

The EV: clinically insane.

I've come to the conclusion that the EV is refreshingly insane. But now that I think of it, it's more Josh than the EV that's insane because he seems to be the only life form present on this web site. Yet there is Scott, even though he probably gets sucked into a tear in the space-time continuum or something-or-other since his presence here on the EV is slightly above sparse, well, except for the articles. So maybe I should revise my comment to 'Josh is insane and Scott is some where lost in time'. I think that works. yeah that works. THANK YOU EV! - Sofia

Scott: Straight ahead, Mr. Peabody! We've got to get back to our own time!

Josh: MY SOCKS TASTE LIKE RED

Damn, dude. A serious letter.

Not all other countries have stringent gun laws. Switzerland and Isreal have more guns per capita than the United States and lower murder rates than nations like UK and France. In America the gun laws vary state to state. I live in Maryland, we have very strict gun laws here (Brady Campaign gave this state a "A-" grade) and the murder rate is about 9.5 per 100,000 people. Washington D.C. bans all handguns and registers rifles/shotguns; they got a murder rate of about 50 per 100,000. Virgina has less gun laws than MD or DC
and their murder rate is only 5 per 100,000. - JS

Josh: I'm not completely sure what story/editorial you're referring to here, but as far as your comment goes: remember the context of your comparisons. Washington D.C. is a more urban setting than a place like Virginia or Maryland, and thus would likely have a higher murder rate regardless of gun laws . As for a place like Israel: how do they measure their murder rates? Is it the same as ours, and if so, what other factors are different about their society besides more guns per person that could account for the lower murder rates? Guns -- or the lack of them -- are not the only thing to look at when studying murder rates or even violent crime, just like violent video game/scary music/satirical webpages.

HAHA WHOA DUDE

Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha!!!! That was the funniest thing I've read in YEARS! That part where you apologized for not having time for updating everyday because of...COLLEGE? Oh, you funny alright! Now THAT should get a nonsensical award of some sort. - MadHatter

Scott "The Party" Morgan: Haha, exactly, dude! The only thing hombres you and I work at in college is booze, and lots of it! Lots of booze, that is! Haha, burn, Josh! Go write some essays to get good grades and get a good job, loser!

Simple, yet profound.

the ad. - heba

Josh: Damn it, this is no place for your social commentary, heba!

Awesome.

This letter pertains to Jane Kurowitz who has made several referrences to the "Penis Brigade" in her editorials.

I'm writing to address several comments made involving the so called "Penis Brigade." I don't object to your politics but I do object to your irresponsible use of the term "Penis Brigade." Your use of the term does a great diservice to the branch of the United States military which goes by the same name.

Being a member of the the Penis Brigade is hard work. It demands long hours and a great deal of stamina. One must possess the abilities to come to tension upon request, to maintain control and not fire rounds prematurely, to pitch tents in any environment, and to service men, women, children, and even animals with enthusiasm and vigor.

Members of the Penis Brigade also take part in expeditionary forces which involve the deep penetration of wet, dry, forrested, fertile, barren, and frigid terrain. This terrain is often willing to accept the batallion's movements whether they take place quickly and repeatedly or slowly and over a protracted period of time. Other times however the terrain is non-negotiable, and it takes a great deal of effort to forcibly enter. In these cases we find it best to use a numbers advantage, or chemical agents to subdue or quiet the area in question in order to reach the desired objective.

The Penis Brigade is not a laughing matter, it is to be taken seriously, and references and allusions to it should be taken seriously as well. I'd like to ask you cease referring to other male associations by the name. Members of the Penis Brigade are proud, we hold our heads up high and sweat our balls off during every mission.

Sincerely - Staff Sergeant Filmore Cooter

Josh: I'm grateful to the Penis Brigade for what they do for our country, Sarge, and that's why I want to give you this:

Congratulations, dude!

If Jane didn't hate men and everything they stand for so much, I'm sure she'd agree.

Hatas trying to hate.

what was the date this story took place? - Mr.Izzy

Josh: My lawyers have advised me not to answer this question.

Thanks/shut up.

It's quite good but honestly the story wan not able to make me laugh trhan the way I should..... - Anne Cortez

Josh: What.

Congratulations, dumbass!

If this is a complement of some sort, I'm sorry, Anne, but you really have to think about these things before you say them. At the very least, go to a news website like CNN.com and then just copy a sentence that most fits what you're trying to say into the comment box.