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A link to one of Goth Gary's fine pieces of writing on Collegehumor.com produced what is likely the biggest letters edition in The Enduring Vision's history. Will I make it to the end before shuffling off this mortal coil? Read on to find out!


My bad.

I dont understand the comic.... should i feel ashamed? - I feel dumb

Josh: You shouldn't feel bad -- after looking at the comic again after I put it up on the site I realized that it was perhaps a little too vague. The jist of it is: the first three panels depict the abuses of the Koran that have been confirmed to have happened at Guantanamo Bay, while the fourth panel pokes fun of the fact that U.S. officials were focusing instead on the fact that the "Koran in the toilet" abuse could not be confirmed, rather than admitting that the prison definitely has some issues to work out.


Erik tells us how to score some technicolor dreamcoats!

[From "Getting Medical Marijuana: What Can You Do?" - Ed.] Also consider asking: where the "cat's meow" is; where "Joseph and that wacky dreamcoat" can be found; where "can I get some good blow".

the first two "cat's meow" and "Joseph and that wacky dreamcoat" totally absurd noone will know what you are talking about.

"can I get some good blow" if you ask someone this they will think you are talking about coke a far more dangerous drug.

most people who want to be discreate call marijuana bud or nugs or simply ask for an "eight". This is in refrence to the most common sale of marijuana 1/8 oz for 50 (this is for american grown marijuana not the dirty bricked mexican brand) - Erik

Josh: All right, let's see if I have this straight: "Erik, could I have a bud of eight, but not the kind from dirty Mexicans?"


EV books and fancy fonts.

Hey Josh,Vince is right... you should publish the intelligent writtings of the EV. I would love to have the EV within my reach without the use of the Internet (God forbid that should EVER happen!).

Oh yes! On the subject of the pretty writing, the titles are in a fanciful font that bring "What the fuck?!" to mind. I must say that this makes me doubt the EV's credibility and cause me slight twitches of the eye. But no worries, I still love The Enduring Vision. - Sofia

Josh: Sweet, that's two people that would definitely buy an EV book! More people should send me this same letter to incite me to move off my lazy ass and actually make the book. As for the fancy titles, I must say I'm thoroughly confused at this point, since the titles look to me on my computer (and other computers I've tested The EV on) as they always have:

Maybe your computer is playing a cruel joke on you?


Good questions.

It's 3:57 in the morning. And I just found the best picture I have ever seen. So lucky you, have the privilage to gaze your precious eyes on the beauty that is...

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y128/punkbunny73/tiredguy2.jpg
MUSLIM PUG!!!!!!

Oh yes, also,


Which is just... Yeah.

Anyhow, my mother acts like the Super Target woman. If you could get someone to assassinate her, it would be well appreciated. Make it quick though, she's a fast one. Your somewhat beloved fan - Woot Master

Josh: I rehosted (and slightly resized, because it was small as hell) your second picture for all to see, Woot Master, because it's hilarious. Good job. And if you didn't actually make it, good job for finding it. Good luck with your strange mother!


Defeat.

Anorexic Realizes She Just Has To Eat

not even remotely funny - Whitney

Josh: Actually, it's hilarious. OWNED.


Defeat II.

*anorexic_realizes.htm*

Well you must be a fucking genius. All the doctors, Inpatient, outpatient treatments all just out the window. All I have to do is eat. What is it that makes you think you're so much more fucing intelligent than all the doctors, therapists and most important the people who have/had first-hand expierience. Who the fuck do you thinkk, you are. You're such a smartass! And apparantly not only are you better than everyone else, but you're perfect too! Right? Hey, I have a solution to all smartass losers like you. Pull your fucking head out of your ass and realize that people do have shit wrong with them are you, you little peice of shit, are nobody to act almighty. Stop ascting like you're fucking perfect, becuase you're NOT! So keep typing away on your stupid little website acting like you're better than everyone else. But you're not. You have not lived through, and expierenced this disease so you are fucking nobody to go talking about it like you know everything. It's not funny, It's not fucking cool. You don't know shit. - Heather

Josh: Actually, I am perfect and better than everyone else. OWNED.


The beginning of the Great Flood Of Letters About Goth Gary.

Read your "True Goth" page...it's beautiful. I cried. Well done. - Drew

Josh: I'm glad we made you cry, Drew. Thanks for the compliments!


!!

FAG - (name eaten by our letter form)

Josh: WHERE?!

Alec Baldwin: No, it's the SCREEN Actors' Guild -- kindly make a note of this.


Okay, back to Goth Gary.

Hi im 16 and come from Halifax England and i love being a goth its all the different types of clothing and different accesories are ace, i love getting all done up and going out on the town, and i think this story has helped me alot because my parents hate goh truly and honestly hate them everthing about them and they are starting to ask question about all my cloths and the make up they find, is some good advise and am goning to tell them. Thanks for the hell

P.S like the facial thing on the right side of your face on the picture ''live fast, rock hard, die young'' - Matthew Wilson The Werewolf

Josh: Dude, Harry Potter is so much cooler than being goth. You should start dressing up more like Ron Weasley! Haha, that kid is always getting into trouble!


A reader gives tips on proper hygiene.

You are a fuckin tool dude. You aint nothin but a little pussy with some serious issues you have no idea how to deal with. Get a job, take a shower and grow the fuck up. - dan K

Josh: But not working and living in filth is so much more fun!


Misogyny.

u are bunch of homo sexuals!! u've been dissed on by so many girls and normal people u have nothing left in your life!! u should just kill yourselves and tape it!! - billy bob

Josh: The distinction here between "girls" and "normal people" is interesting. Billy Bob, you may have some issues with women that you need to clear up. Perhaps you have been dissed too many times by them.


Brilliance.

"In conclusion, if you think you are Goth, you are probably not. Why? Because a true Goth wouldn't say 'hey, I'm cool and shit' because hey, we're cool and shit"...Brilliant dude. - Henry

Josh: Thanks! It's obvious that you are a true goth.


Some advice from a friendly ghost.

Wow, this guy is a total clown! "you dont even want to know why I'm so depressed." What a fuckin loser! probably some rich kid who listens to Manson, so that makes him a "true" Goth. Oh yeah and wears make-up you have to do that to be a tru goth too. This guys so concerned about everyone else he doesnt even realize what a dumb ass HE is! - Casper

Josh: Your last sentence sums up the point of about 99% of everything written on The Enduring Vision.


A haunting letter.

oh my goth, even when im dancing im sad... - bob crane

Josh: You should try some happier dances. The Chicken Dance, for instance. That's wacky!


Complaining.

The fagget goth kid who wrote the thing on goths is a whiney little bitch who should shut the fuck up and start making life better than complaining like a little pussy. Who fucking cares about this guys fucked-up past. Goth Gary has got to be the most stupedist name ever. Goths arent saying anything by dressing the same. When i see goth i think wow, this guy needs to stop being a complaining pansy. That fag wheres more make-up than a hooker. Please make something of your life and forget your past. DAMN, whiney bitches need to shut the fuck up. Love Always - ED

Josh: Do you offer a course on how complaining in a pussy, whiny way (like Goth Gary) versus complaining in a manly, awesome way (like you)?


Goth Gary speaks the truth.

Much of what you say here is true. I shop at Hot Topic, but not for most of my clothes. Just for some buttons and band shirts and INVADER ZIM!!! I dont want to be goth, dont want to be called goth, and feel I look nothing like a goth. I also feel your story thing makes you sound like Anne Gwish....you keep calling yourself cool and goth and crap...and you continue to say people who do this are posers. I hate when people call others posers...but yes...much of what you said was true. - Dakota

Josh: But Goth Gary is cool. Therefore, he is allowed to call other people on their poserosity. If you would like Goth Gary to assess whether you are a poser or not, please send us a letter about yourself. Include links to some pictures if possible.


A reader has the tables turned on him.

My God you people suck! Get a job your worse than hippies! - John

Josh: Maybe it is you who sucks. That feeling you just had was your mind being fucking blown away.


A method for cooking good pancakes.

Dear Josh, Raspberries are not worth abandoning your satire. When life hands you raspberries....make syrup. Now make your Sunday morning pancakes. Gently heat pure maple syrup w/ a generous pat of butter in a saucepan on the back burner while your cakes are flipping a golden hue. When the syrup is warm enough to melt the butter squeeze a generous handful of raspberries over the saucepan. Now lick up the entire frickin' mess off your hands and eat breakfast...foo. - Tiffany

Josh: Hey, how did you know I eat pancakes on Sunday mornings? Wait, I don't. But still, that's freaky! PS - Thanks for the sweet syrup tips.


Advocating suicide.

(*The Real Goth*)Wow...i had to read this article about 3 times to make sure it wasnt fake..This 'goth gary'guy is VERY full of himself.He just needs to take some pills and calm his happy ass down(not the sarcasm).He talked about how DEPRESSED and sad,and how much his life SUCKS.so,why dosent he do the whole world a favor and kill himself?Hey,it would help,i wouldnt have to read crappy articles from him anymore. - Victor A

Josh: Tip: read the article a fourth time to make sure it isn't fake. You may find something you missed the previous three times.


Discrimination!

is the picture at the top you and your friend? if so, if you were a true 'goth' you hair would be lack or at least an obscene color. and your friend she's a fucking blonde...... who ever heard of a golden blonde goth? not i. anyway, to conclude you are a true goth and judging others and saying if they are really goth or not just makes you all that more not goth. if you were really truly goth you wouldn't waster your time on such a paper. further more, you wouldn't associate yourself with being so concerned about trends. well i suppose that's all i have to say. so um yeah fuck you goth gary. - crystal

Josh: Am I old enough to see obscene colors? I bet they have names like "Sexual delight blue" and "Breast green".


Redemption.

Wow. Ive read a lot of shit...but that is by far the most retarded thing I have ever come across. You are severely disturbed and need help. No matter if you had a bad past, it doesnt mean you have to dress in all black with white makeup like the walking dead. You're just a fucked up guy with a fucked up sense of style. And by no means feel obligated to retort in any way, I'm merely stating. You know, some bad shit has happened to me in my past but I still manage to dress normal, and don't refer to myself as a Dark Mistress of any sort of doom, disaster, or whatever it is you call yourself. Straighten out, you'll never be able to get a job looking like that. Well take that back, at Hot Topic, but thats about it. So because you choose to look/dress like a retard, its going to be people like me who have to pay for your wellfare checks. Thanks Lord of Douchebaggery.

[Two minutes later...- Ed.]

Whoa, I didnt know that was fake. Thank jesus, someones not that retarded. Funny site. - Ashley

Josh: I always hope that the second part of this letter is what most people who take the site seriously realize a few hours or days after they've sent us their angry complaints. Note to many of the letter writers on this very update: I am talking to you.


A comment on something that isn't Goth Gary!

Your story is true for many Americans and others in developed nations. We are becoming soft and this will prove to be our downfall. Hopefully after I'm dead because I need my PDA and cell phones to get chicks. Without them, I'm dead. - Erno Brotestnowski

Josh: Not me, I just use my boyish good looks! And my magical dating pills that girls love to take on their own.


A comment on...nope, it's back to Goth Gary.

WOW this dude is a homo... all goth kids not just the Faths should be either shoved into locker or beaten...why? cause your a stain on society... as in the brown stain you get when you shit your pants... that type of stain... quite that pussy shit and grow some balls you stupid tool... - Rob

Josh: I bet all the kids at your school call you King Tolerance! You know, because you're so intolerant! OWNED.

- June 12, 2005

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