Lots more love for Goth Gary (linked here so I don't have to keep doing it for every single god damned letter about him) as the traffic from Collegehumor.com dies down. Will all of it make him come to life and become a real boy? Read on!

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man you are not got or any shit like that. You are a sore loser and fag. You need a girlfriend - [no name given]

Josh: In fairness to Goth Gary, I don't think he ever claimed to be a Got.

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Gary, I called you by your name firstly, You are possible the gayest human being on the face of the earth. Congratulations!!!! - Cole

Christopher Lowell: This is a travesty!

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i think ur a fucking loser - Your a fucking loser

Josh: You had two chances to use "you're" correctly. You failed both times. I think it's obvious who the actual loser is here.

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you are quite possibly the dumbest human being i have ever read about, why care if you are different? it doesnt really matter in the long run, you will eventually come to realize that all human beings are flawed and whatever you do it wont matter to the entire human race, and might as well just kill yourself to get away from it all, and thats just fine, because people like you should NOT be allowed to procreate and you would be doing the human race a favor by not passing on your genes. Thank you - Generic person who comments on all the forums

Josh: Correction: all human beings are flawed except for me, Josh Perfect. And Goth Gary, he's perfect too. Imagine how much of a loser you appear to be to us.

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50 Cent is wicked where can i send my rap about gangstas in To a record company to publish - aneesa

Josh: I'll take it! And I probably won't even make fun of you, I swear!

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Gary i will not call you goth Gary because you're not one youu're just a wannabe goth. If you were truly goth you wouldn't say "spooky" all the time, and why are you trying to "help" people be little wannabe goth clones.Also for someone who has such a dark past you really don't sound like it.Oh and another thing like in your fath thing wearing does'nt make you goth and you don't have to wear makeup to be goth.I have many other things to rant about but this is enough for today. - autumn

Josh: Wait, I thought real goths did say "spooky" all the time! Are you trying to tell me that I've been misinformed?

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you're just a wannabe waste of flesh kindergoth. "oh, I have had such a horrible life so I am going to go read a book in a cave." WTF? get a life and stop pretending to live this one. jerk-off. - anonymous

Josh: Haha, kindergoth.

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Goths are just black preppies who happen to be white. You have to wear the 'right clothes', listen to the cool music, go against society and generally try to piss off your parents. What happened to you, pray tell? Do you really think your life is that fucking hard? Some of us had a hard life (maybe much harder than yours) and we moved on to be happy, productive adults. I am NOT putting down the gothic lifestyle - in fact I've always been intrigued with the dark arts and the lifestyle associated with it. What DOES piss me off is you whiny little bitches who use white make-up and black clothing to tell society that they've done you wrong. FUCK YOU! People like you make me remember Columbine - talk about fucked up nobodies! Wear your make-up, listen to NIN, and shop at goodwill stores. Have fun doing so but don't whine and 'blame society' for the fact that you're completely unemployable and still live with your parents. Real Goths would never put themselves on a pedestal by posting a website - especially one that is busy telling other people how to act and dress. If anything, you're anti-goth. Do me a favor and buy a bar of soap, put it in a sock, use it on your Mom and tell her not to have any more fucked-up children! - Not A Goth But More Than You

Josh: Your first sentence made my brain leak out my ears.

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u suck - fag

Josh: Least I'm not gay. BURN.

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Your a retard - Guess

Josh: Least I'm not a brand of clothing. BURN.

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I find it so hilarious that people take this site seriously. The letters are almost as good as the stories. Josh, you win.

I love the Enduring Vision. I love it so, so much. Like...I'm not gay or anything, but seriously. That much.

<3 - Scott

Josh: You get this primarily because you have almost no competition:

Yeah, I think the main reason the site is still going at this point is so I can continue to receive all this delightful hate mail and laugh, and then cry, and then laugh some more. Also: I love you too! In a gay way! No, wait. No. Yes.

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Wow dude, ur special OHHH LOOK AT ME! I WANT ATTENTION, SO I WEAR BLACK MAKUP LIKE A WOMAN. get a fuckin life u loser ass queer bait. Goths are fuckin gay, if i met you i would stomp your face in u queers - Nick

Josh: You sure know an awful lot about Goths for hating them so much...YOU CLOSET GOTH!

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Gary or more formally & fashionably knownst as D4rkman a quick question i ask of you, If as we have read you are indeed the quintessential gothmister you proclaim to be, then what i implore is up with that fucked up pickle hair style you done in your featured photograph?
Furthermore why is that girl who is looking at you so seemably perturbed w/ you? Is it because you in fact are to "goth" for one woman to handle? Did you steal her favorite Cure cd? Or perhaps you may have pissed in her Hello Kitty lunch box because in all actuality she is none other than "Miss Hot Topic" High Priestess Ruler of all the "Faths" and you didn't even authorize her admittance into the forementioned potograph. I bet that crusty slut just follows you from a safe distance 1. because you are so superiorly Goth she you would eat your toe nail clippings 2. because she likes to stand in the shadow of greatness and 3. she's your little sister and your Mom says you can't use the car inless you take her with you. Good luck in all your Gothistic adventures and please all who read this say a silent prayer to Azriel that Robert Smith will again lose that burdensom 35Lbs. and that Apoptygma Bezerk and Covenant will somehow combine super forces and this fall will headline the "Black leather latex orgy" tour. - DonkeyBox

Josh: This letter is excellent. Everything in it is true. As for Goth Gary's hairstyle: it's actually the most Goth hairstyle that there is, but most people are not Goth enough to have it, which is only Goth Gary has it.

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I can't believe Ashton....A 69 yearold??OMG...

[Minutes later... - Ed.] when was this!?!?!?!?!?! - savannah

Josh: *wordlessly begins smashing you in the face with a pan*

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The figure on the left is a chalk drawing by the person on the right. Pretty good, huh? - Jim

Josh: I can't find the Pic Of The Week you're talking about to link to, but I do know which one you mean, and yeah, it is awesome.

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gary, i think ur gay as a matter of fact heres real poetry
In fear i hurried this way and that, I had the aste of blood an chocolate in my mouth, the one a hateful as the other. - ted

Josh: Mmm, I love chocolate-covered blood berries!

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Gary is a phukkin moron. There are people out there that would make him look like a little girl. I know some real cats (dude's for those like gary who are moron's) that would shit on gary's chest then make him eat it. He's say's he's goth and all he does is complain about goth that is to funny. Once and for all Gary your a moron and go home to mommy.

Your's Truly
Gary's Father - Bryan

Josh: I think I'm beginning to understand why Goth Gary is the way he is.

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The first Doritos was the corn chip (the best), then cheese and taco flavor (anyone remember the black bag). Those were the first 3 everything else is second rate. My problem is that I can't find my favorite, CORN CHIP. The last place I saw them was in Houston. Does anyone know where I can buy them in Virginia or on a website? - sandie

Josh: I don't, but if someone does, they should write in!

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Goth Gary is a joke. There is no such thing as a real goth. They are all half asses who only accept satan to recieve attention. If your the real goth, so is everyone else because they dress the same. You dont even now what a goth. - Godchild

Josh: Really, your first sentence is all you needed. You could made yourself look a lot better with just that.

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this story's fuckn bulshit--britney's pregnant for real and theres nothin u can do bout it--go ahead make her life miserable but ur all fuckn lies!!! god can't u think of some other shit to write about!! - avril lavigne

Josh: Ooh, OH! Avril! I have your CDs! Can you tell me whether or not I'm a sk8ter boi? Why or why not?

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hi joshy.
after reading most of your articles on movies, i've come to a conclusion:

WHAT A LOOOOOOSER. - candice

Josh: I'm not the one who sat aaaaallll by myself at the diner this morning. LOOOOSER.

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I own you. - Woot Master

Josh: Well that isn't very nice! You're only the master of hurting people's feelings.

- June 19, 2005

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