Letters From The Readers

The letters continue their comeback this week with plenty of thoughts on Match.com, idiots, and, as always, Goth Gary. Read on and feel the love.

You're half-right, anyway.

Pretty sad that everyone bashing Goth Gary, a person that they dont even know. Heh pathetic - Christine

Josh: Even though I have a feeling it's still taking Goth Gary seriously, this letter is still the most sensible one we've gotten about him in a long time.

A couple united through The EV.

[RE: "Online Dating Marketplace A Seething Cauldron Of Lies" - Ed.] Hey hawtd00d23!
I saw you on Match.com, and I just thought I would tell you that I think you are really "hawt"
Your glasses and scrunched face make me want to make sweet, sweet love to you. The rest of those singles may be fakers, but I can tell you're true. Until next time, my love! - 733Tbab3

Hawtd00d23: $w33t d00d g1rl 1 l0v3 j00 @nd t02wa 9qu0 0qh90990309 f-que9q!092q5u.

Some sort of compliment.

not too far off, right on the mark.....THANX OOXX :-) - Indi K Sidhu

Josh: I don't know what you're thanking us for, but that won't stop me from slurping up the gratitude like sweet life-giving nectar. Thanks!

Secret messages.

there is a rumor that a senior staff member of the enduring vision is at least 50% gay!? Is there any truth to these claims? - notes from the den

Scott: Well, if it isn't [name withheld for security purposes] from [place of origin withheld for similar reasons]! Good to hear from you, Den Master. 50% gay? Instead of making an official response, I'm going to use this opportunity to stress the importance of home schooling.

Josh: I have no idea what's going on here. But I like it.

Walmart.

Whether you love or hate Walmart is completely irrelevant. All that matters is that every time I go to Walmart, the store's a little more crowded than it was last time.

Complaining about Walmart is like complaining about the weather. All you're doing, is flapping your jaw. - Bob Olsen

Josh: I'd say that's really all you're doing when you complain about anything, unless that complaining is accompanied by action, such as brick-throwing.

Agreement on something.

thank you!!!!!!!!!! ive been sayin this for awhile now and no one agreed with me - darcy

Josh: Okay, and at this point I'd like to remind everyone that our letter form is not quite fancy enough for me to tell what article you're talking about, so you have to mention that article by name, or at least make a reference to the article. But anyway, you're welcome.

One of the siliest questions we've ever gotten.

i have heard that the last ingredient is bat droppings in doritos...is this true?
please email me with the answer or a site that could tell me...

thanks! - Alexia

Josh: Yes, this is true. Most bats finish off their meals with a bag or two of Doritos, thus making their droppings 2% Dorito. Thanks for writing!

Good insults.

LOL you're an idiot. - [name eaten by our letter form]

Josh: Nope. Owned.

A rare mistak found!

Tom Daschle lost his senate seat last year... - Concerned Reader

Josh: Ooh! For those who didn't catch it, a recent article of ours referred to dethroned Senator Tom Daschle, and this quick young fellow caught on. I changed the name as soon as I received the letter to something more not wrong. We apologize, and I am now in the process of visciously kicking staff member Scott Wagner, who wrote the article in question. I thought I told you to memorize ALL THEIR NAMES, you idiot!

A common mistake.

Yesterday, I was walking to my local Walgreens, when I noticed a newspaper called The Onion, that happens to be a satire. I read it and it made me laugh only because the picutres for an escort service looked pathetically funny. Is this a part of the web site The Onion 'cause I find it odd. Much love from me. - Sofia

Josh: Despite what some reports may tell you, The Onion is actually a relatively new, mostly obscure satirical publication that has no affiliation to The Enduring Vision, which is older by several years and much more popular. Thanks for writing!

- July 24, 2005