Oh, the sheer amount of letters this week warms the cockles of my cold, dead heart. But they all better be good, or I will become an inhuman monster once again. Let's find out!

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THE EV IS BAAAACK! - it's back!!!!1

Josh: Don't get used to it. I plan to shut it down forever tomorrow.

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how can I get permission to use this picture in an advertizement link below

http://www.comedy-zone.net/pictures/classics/classicpic09.htm

I saw the picture on the Comedy Zone but there is no contact info on the site to ask permission about copy right pictures.Please contact me if you have any info as to ask about this.thanks very much - Paul Boyne

Josh: I have no idea, and I've never seen that picture before in my life, and it's never been on The Enduring Vision, and that site has nothing to do with The Enduring Vision. Funny picture, though.

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http://www.enduringvision.com/archives/yahoo7.htm

The movie review by J.D. Carbone is one of my favorites ever. I thought you might like to know that it was not the ladies J.D. was trying to impress, however. If you go to:

http://movies.yahoo.com/profiles/daman6873?ys=TGVzBxQjNxDumUaYSfncsg--

You will see that J.D. was interested "grown men, that are hairy." This is his full review from Seed of Chucky.

"hi, i am j.d. carbone. i live in kentfield, california. my phone # is 415-461-3266. i am a innocent young boy that likesw good time. my Aim screen name is mentalkid2l1, im me whenever u want. I love horse back riding, choir, bowling league with my mom, hanging out with my friends like tennesie mowery, we are righting a book together called a PLACe called aroth. i like listening to music also, sum of my fav groups are nickelback (Chad Kroeger is so hot!), Usher, avril lavigne, hilary duff, backstreet boys, nsync, jessica sympson. one of my favorite things to do is wright novels.i like grown men, that are hairy"

I know that if I was a big hairy man I'd be calling up this dude right now - Henry Senger

Josh: All right, that has to be an FBI plant trying to lure in pedophiles. Someone who is not me should try calling him.

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asjdjsd - ajsdfa

Josh: WHY DID I PRINT THIS

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your dumb he is claping you idiot - Jack

Josh: I feel as if I should respond to this in a manner similar to the previous letter.

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Hey, Josh, glad you're back. Now where's the fucking humor????? Amphibians, obey me! Arise and let's take this website by force!!! Grrrrrrrrrr!!!!! - Happy Noodle Boy

Josh: Nowhere in our slogan are you promised humor. Only love, which is only sometimes funny, and satire, which is never funny.

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im commenting on your story Gunther Wilkins. now i may be stupid or something, but is this shit true? if it is, this guy sure is one fucked up retard. i mean there really are teenagers out there who are depressed and try and kill themselves and then when they try and get help people call them "attention seekers" all because of fuckheads like this gunther wilkins. what the hell? this guy is a fucking retard and he should be locked up in a pshcyiatric ward, not because he's "depressed" but because he's fucking looney tunes. what a fucking attention seeking dickhead. you know what? maybe he should go cut up his fucking arms because then he might know how it feels to be depressed and hopeless. though i have to say with a name like gunther wilkins, you would be depressed. but this dickhead isnt, obviously, its know wonder no one asks if he's okay. and one other thing, the name gunther wilkins sounds made up, so this story may be untrue and im wasting my valuable time by writing about this fucking asshole, but if it is true, it has seriously pissed me off ( as you can tell already) why doesnt some one from this fuckheads school go and beat the crap out of this fucking attention seeking, ass licking whore slut, dog fucking, cock sucking ASSHOLE!! lol.
- Sarah

Josh: Sarah, are you hot?

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[RE: Some 51 Cent article - Ed.] i bet you your white no crack dealer uses those words..and no crack dealer would snitch on himself? stupid fuck - im about a dolla

The Ghost of 51 Cent: I assure you, "dolla", most crack dealers, regardless of race, have more or less the same refined vernacular as myself, although I admit there are a few who have vocabularies that would put my own to shame!

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[RE: "High School AV Club Membership Threatens Alito Confirmation" - Ed.] "In a statement, Justice Stevens angrily responded that this isn't true, and that he's seen "cool straight men like Elton John" wear bow ties "all the time"."

that rocks like a donkey. - Alito

Josh: Thanks! And for those of you playing along at home, donkeys are one of the most hardest-rocking animals on the planet, second only to Rocking Whales.

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The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles/Lord of the Rings fanfiction was an affront to my senses. I don't know how you can live with yourself after creating such a disgusting display of heathanism and hedonism.
The copyright infringement is also such an outright and despicable illegal activity that I feel physically ill. - Thom Wellton.

Josh: Heathenism and hedonism? Somebody's been reading his dictionary!

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(Re: Bob's Demand) Bravo! Scott! If only I could get the list of Yahoo subscribers and forward this to all of them along with a solicitation to send me money. - Pete

Josh: I have this list, but I promised the government I wouldn't give it out. In return, I get diplomatic immunity, which is the only reason why The Enduring Vision is allowed to remain online.

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How could you possibly take the Disney story off the front page so soon? A travesty, if you ask us. Although, the new story is more timely and does have merit. I think we'll try to come up with more indiscriminate political preponderance and submit it for your eminent approval.

Yup. - Anonymous

Josh: You're new here, so I'm going to let it slide this time, but: never write in again. You're a staff member! You're breaking the fourth wall!

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That's just really clever and fun to read. - GlossyBrian

Josh: Thanks! Coming from a fellow satirist, I especially appreciate the love, even if you did forget to say what you are loving. But I'm just going to assume it's the entire site, since we're so awesome.

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I'm afraid if you guys really were "geniuses" your link to the Enduring Vision movie would read "GENII behind the scenes"
OWNED - JZ Burdge

Josh: Response #1: "It was intentional and was meant to be an ironic joke!"

Josh: Response #2: "Both pluralizations are acceptable!"

Josh: Response #3: "I am shutting down The Enduring Vision."

- January 29, 2006

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