Letters From The Readers

An average number of letters this week, but what they lack in quantity, they make up for in quality! If only we could believe that. But every week, we do get a few from coherent, kind readers, so read on for those!

PETER PAN IS REALS

this guy, sadly, really exists. check out his web page. I don't think i'll ever see Peter Pan the same way again... so, here's the address: http://www.pixyland.org/peterpan/iso_tinkerbell.html - Betsy

Josh: Haha, I have seen that guy before, but thanks for the disturbing reminder, Betsy. Actually, I think I saw him on TV, on a show about strange people (one other person was a woman who loved being fat and made it a goal to gain more and more weight every month). As long as people like that aren't trying to shove fairy dust in my eyes or eat me, more power to 'em.

It is finished.

bring back the original doritos please!!!!! they tasted a whole lot better than the ones out now!!!!! thanks!! - ryan

Josh: Aside from giving me a small chuckle at the fact that our website apparently looks like Frito-Lay's, this letter served the important purpose of finally, finally getting me to update the Original Doritos Saga, which is now a sprawling behemoth of reader sleuthing and snack food history. Go check it out!

A good question.

Is this a real article? Hard to believe he'd be acquitted. :P - Jeremy

Josh: We have a few articles dealing with acquittals, but it doesn't matter which one, because yes, they're all true.

A reader comes home.

used to like this website in highschool and me and my freinds would dream about your writers, however i forgot about you until college and realized i missed you ever so much. Its good to be back - Ashley

Josh: Welcome back, Ashley! Be sure to tell your sexy dorm friends about us, and then let's all have an underwear party.

Good idea.

dumb. dont ever do that again. dumb - me

Josh: Clearly, what I have done here is sent myself a letter from the future, advising me not to do something again. Now if only I could figure out what before it's time for me to go meet my heroin dealer...

Hear my plead.

It's true. Hopefully, when the dust clears we'll figure out something to avoid repeating the unfolding disaster. - Forrest Ross

Josh: All right, I admit my web skills are not nearly cool and l33t enough (i.e., I'm too lazy to learn more) to make our own EV form that would be able to tell me what you guys are commenting on, so please remember: you have to make up for my slack by mentioning the article you are commenting on. A URL, the headline, a brief quote from the article -- something that will let me know what you mean instead of making me wish I was able to do internet telepathy.

IT'S IN ALL CAPS SO YOU KNOW IT'S GOOD

[RE: Goth Gary - Ed.] YOUR NOT A POSER GOTH?, SATAN IS MY ONLY GIRLFRIEND, I AM THE UNDEAD?, YOU PROBALLY LISTEN TO MARILYN MANSON TOO, YOUR A FAGGOTH, THE ONLY REASON PEOPLE CALL PEOPLE POSERS ARE CUASE THEYRE POSERS THERSELVES, AND IM NOT CALLING YOU A POSER IM LABELING YOU A FAGGOTH, YOU PREMATURE EJACULATOR,AND IT'S NOT THAT I DONT UNDERSTAND YOU, IT'S JUST YOUR VERY HHMMMM,IGNORANT TO YOUR OWN IGNORANCE, IM NOT GOTH,IM JUST A LOVER OF THE UNKNOWN, AND INDIVIDUALITY AND AN EXSPRESSOR OF DARK ROMANTICISM, AND YOU IN NO WAY EVEN UNDERSTAND OR ARE GOTH, MANSONITE - RATSPUN

Josh: Sounds like someone is jealous that Satan isn't his girlfriend.

TWO IN A ROW

WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE YOUR MOTHER SHOULD HAVE WASHED YOUR MOUTH OUT WITH SOAP & WATER FOR THE DIRTY LANGUAGE YOU USE. - GHaber4799

Josh: But when I was little, I didn't use that language. You really have to think about these things, GHaber.

- April 2, 2006