For future letter-writers: I appreciate the effort, but it's not necessary to send me three different letters under the guise of three different identities. I think I'd rather just have none. But by all means, continue to send me real letters from your real self, or the personality that's currently dominant.

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Haha, just read news in sexy briefs for the 23/4. Gas prices at $3 a gallon? They're not far off £5 a gallon in Britain (thats $9 btw)

(Stands back and waits for gasps of astonishment) - acrossthepond

Josh: What's next, writing dates with the month coming second?

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Here's a letter, now stick it in your pie hole you Sammy Davis Jr loving blacks! - Archie Crumpler

Josh: I'm not black, although I do have a glass eye.

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i liek the gretting cards pages. They made no sense, but I printed one out and gay it to some jewish guy at the bus stop. He offered me a blow job but when he found out i wasn't circumsized he tore up the card and hated jesus some more. - Danny Nerf

Josh: That sounds like a Jewish guy, all right.

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Word is bond my niggas! I was like two minutes away from beatin Socom Navy seals on my ps2 when some wiley ass nigga bust through my crib an stole my ps2. I fucked up the nigga all in the head wit a mug but that shit done nothin to dis nigga. So word he jumped out my window wit my ps2, wit motherfuckin socom still spinnin in that shit, hopped on the bus and sold my motherfuckin ps2 to some white bitch an then had sex wit the bitch on top my ps2. Word is bond, Nigga out! - Darius Worthington

Josh: And you know something, kids? That "wiley ass nigga" in the story was me. I hope you all caught the lesson here.

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Can I sign up to join your e-mail list for a daily dose of EV? - Tim Bigelow

Josh: All right, is this seriously something we should do? The last time I asked in the Weekly Rambling I got nothing in reply, but Tim here wants one! But Tim, I can't just do it for you! If you would like an EV newsletter, please tell us!

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hi, i like your site!, ive got a site which may interrest the likes of you. its mine!! all mine!
www.globalrandom.up.to - fred

Josh: Thanks, Fred, that's...insane.

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[RE: "Angelina Jolie Adopts Cruise's Baby" - Ed.] Does this story have any truth to it besides that Tom is a scientologist? I'm mean really, call me ignerant but, I just don't think so. Thanks - kelly

Josh: Tom isn't actually a scientologist -- I made that part up. Everything else is true, except for the picture of Tom and Katie's baby, which is especially true.

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whoever wrote the "bush coercing blair" story is an "effing" idiot. First of all, how could Bush go anywhere unexpectedly? Every minute of his day is documented, and Blair would've been notified of Bush's arrival as soon as he landed in air force one. Second, Bush is a Christian, and would never threaten to attack his greatest ally, let alone destroy their capital. Lastly, President Bush would not just show up and slap the prime minister in the face, and then tell him that the USA can do anything because it is the greatest country in the world! This story is so phony, it is unbelievable! I am extremely disappointed. - trevor

Josh: I don't blame you for feeling disappointed -- that story is extremely old and not very funny. I think I'll take it down. P.S. - Bush is a Christian so he won't attack, bahahaha.

- April 30, 2006

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