Love Is Alive In Britain!

Love Is Alive In Britain!
by Jake Novak

Ah, love is in the air again, and just in time for Valentine's Day, too. That's right: just when you thought romance was dead, Prince Charles made the spontaneous gesture of finally proposing to his on-again, off-again girlfriend of 30 years. Who says perseverance doesn't pay off, girls? And did you see that engagement ring he gave Camilla? It must have really meant something for Charles to scrimp and save to come up with a taxpayer-funded rock that's been in the Windsor family for generations. Oh, what we sacrifice for love!

But while it's good to know that a love affair that destroyed two marriages and almost brought down the monarchy is still alive and well, there's no time to waste frittering about romance. The happy couple has so much to do! First, there are the round-the-clock dental appointments for Camilla, so that the paparazzi can stop deliberately taking pictures of her out of focus. Then there is the continuing search for a cotton swab large enough for Charles' ears. And finally, the inevitable quest by both the Prince and the future-Princess to find new lovers they can cheat with after the wedding is over.

But I don't mean to throw a wet blanket on the whole thing deliberately. Let's remember that after all, Charles and Camilla are real people with real hearts and real needs that seven castles and a $14 billion fortune can't make whole without real love to go along with it. Besides, the TV networks across America have so much trouble covering foreign affairs properly, and this is a story even an anchorman can understand. So, let's raise a glass this Valentine's Day to the star-crossed lovers, Charles and Camilla. Long may their love and their unrestricted travel expense account reign!

Oh, and I have one piece of last minute advice for Charles: make sure you get someone else to choose Prince Harry's outfit for the ceremony.

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