Man Takes Lays' "Betcha Can't Eat Just One" Claim Seriously

Man Takes Lays' "Betcha Can't Eat Just One" Claim Seriously
by Josh Righter

Though regarded by many as a simple advertising gimmick, "Betcha Can't Eat Just One", the slogan for Lays brand chips has come under fire recently from Jared Cambrine, a California man who has launched a lawsuit against the company, claiming he "beat their beat".

Cambrine, a 35 year-old self-described "avid potato chip fan", explained in a recent press conference that despite his affection for the Lays chips, he was able to consume only one chip in a period of over twenty four hours, rendering the company's slogan false.

"It was difficult, I'll give them that," Cambrine admitted with a pompous grin. "There were a few times when I almost broke down and ate another one. But the fact of the matter is, I ate one Lays chip, and twenty four hours later, I still hadn't eaten another one. I beat their stupid ass bet, and now I want some cash. Or at least an infinite supply of Lays chips."

Cambrine believes that he is entitled to some sort of reward for his feat, despite the fact that no clear terms were given.

"I looked on the back of the chip bag and even on their website, but I couldn't find any rules for the bet," Cambrine explained. "For example, they bet that I couldn't eat just one, but they never specified the exact length of time I had to wait to eat another one after consuming the initial chip. So you see, I could've been a real jackass and said that I thought their bet was only for one minute, and then it would've been a real snap to win. But I wanted to be fair about it, and so I waited through 24 whole hours."

Cambrine also found no mention of what his winnings would be, though he repeatedly emphasized that there had to be something.

"When you bet with someone, there's always something to be won, except if it's a pussy bet and what you win is pride, or something gay like that," he said. "But I know and Lays knows that this was no pussy bet. This was a manly bet, and I want a manly prize."

A PR spokesman for Lays released a statement on behalf of the company, stating that Cambrine's lawsuit is "frivolous".

"It's obvious to even the most dim-witted individual that our 'Betcha Can't Eat Just One' statement is nothing more than an advertising tool. It is not an actual bet, or even a goad.

"Also, the bet was for your whole lifetime," the spokesman added. "If the bet was real, I mean. It would've been for your whole lifetime. So you lose."

But the statements were scoffed off by Cambrine.

"When you say you fucking bet someone, you fucking are betting them," he said. "You can't just say, 'Oh, it was our queer little slogan, we didn't really mean to bet them.' That's fucking gay. Plus, the bet couldn't have lasted a whole lifetime, because I'd be fucking dead if I won, and how gay would that be?

"Jesus Christ," added Cambrine, shaking his head.

Many experts are predicting that the fiasco will be settled out of court for an undisclosed amount of money, and/or a lifetime supply of Lays chips for Cambrine. But one lawyer warned that Lays should retract the slogan while it can.

"Cambrine can't be the only person on the earth who possesses the ability to only eat one chip," he said. "There's bound to be others, and while Lays' slogan still stands, those people are in line to do exactly what Cambrine is doing."

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