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by Josh Righter
If you're planning to vote Democrat this year, you're probably feeling overwhelmed right now. Although some candidates have dropped out of the race, seven still remain -- some of which are actually viable! But even though it's easy to be confused, The Enduring Vision is here to help you through it with some helpful tips on how to think.
- Avoid
looking Howard Dean directly in the eyes
Most analysts agree he will go berserk and attack.
-
Woman voters: decide who is most attractive
Many
women pick a candidate based on appearance, so ladies, start thinking
now. Hint: it's not Dennis Kucinich.
-
Carefully follow progress of voters in other states, then mimic them
America
is founded on a system of majority ruling. Don't be the sucker that
votes for someone unpopular.
-
Remember to vote
As
Howard Dean will tell you, there are many people who support a candidate
enthusiastically, but fail to write their state's primary date on their
calendar. Don't be one of these folks.
-
Don't pick Joe Lieberman
Remember,
you're looking for Democratic candidates.
-
Consider Wesley Clark's vast wealth of political experience
We
don't want to give a bias to any candidate, but this is an important
factor.
-
Be wary of new Democratic candidate "Beorge W. Gush"
This
person is likely Republican George W. Bush in a clever disguise designed
to grab your Democratic vote. Don't let him get away with such political
trickery.
-
Avoid accidentally squishing Dennis Kucinich
Due
to his diminutive size, Dennis Kucinich may be behind you or underneath
you without you realizing it. Watch your step, and listen carefully
for screaming about Iraq and NAFTA, widely known to be Kucinich's mating
call.
-
Obtain bumper sticker, "I support voting!"
Good
if you can't make up your mind, but still want to let people know you're
a part of Democracy.
-
Place names in hat, then draw
This
will be your candidate. Consider multiple drawings if you want to make
it more exciting and fun.
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