|
Exclusive Theatre and
Concert Tickets are always at TickCo.com. Purchase All Major Sports Tickets including, MLB, NHL, NBA, and NFL Football Tickets for All Teams at TicketsNow Concert Ticket Brokers Vivid Seats, has a wide variety of Justin
Timberlake Concert Tickets, The Killers Tickets, Tickets
to a Josh Groban Concert and The Police Tickets.
|
by Josh Righter
As a massive heat wave passes through much of the eastern part of Pennsylvania, many residents are desperately searching for ways to keep cool, and most of the rest of the nation is in a similar situation at some part of the summer or another. That's why the Enduring Vision has compiled a list of summer heat tips -- our surefire ways to beat the heat.
-
Construct sun-blocking machine
The sun provides us with much of our heat. Block its rays, and relief
will soon follow.
-
Live in underground tomb
The trick to this is not to dig your tomb too deep, since the interior
of the earth is sometimes even hotter than a steamy summer day.
-
Freeze self
70% of the human body is water. Freezing that water will cool you down,
and, with a little fruit juice, turn you into a tasty summer treat.
-
Be glad you aren't old
Every summer, hundreds of elderly people perish because of heat-related
deaths. It's a good thing you aren't old.
-
Abandon clothing
Clothes, while sometimes fashionable, tend to trap heat close to your
body. When it's hot, remove all traces of clothing immediately.
-
Watch Cool Runnings
The story of the delightful Jamaican bobsled team who overcame their
shortcomings with teamwork will help cool you down and offer hours of
entertainment.
-
Avoid houses or buildings made of sheet metal
Contrary to popular belief, sheet metal heats quickly in the sun, and
does not act as a coolant.
-
Fan self with hand
This will do nothing to cool you off, but will make sure others around
you realize that it is a hot day.
-
Remove body fat
No matter what your weight, your body has natural insulation inside of
it that is not always needed. A paring knife and some Tylenol are recommended
tools.
-
Engage in staring contest with sun
Sometimes all that sun needs is a hard look to send it packing.
-
Buy a fucking air conditioner
Air conditioners have the ability to cool the air inside your home,
no matter how hot it may be outside. Possibily the most recommended
method.
Email This Story | Comment On This Story | Back To Archives
Copyright 2000-2006, The Enduring Vision. All rights reserved. Please read our Disclaimer page before you're offended by anything posted here. If you steal anything from this site, we'll hunt you down like the animal that you are.