Josh and Dan’s Top Ten Pick-Up Lines
                          by Josh Righter and Dan Young

While some people may be sexier than others (Josh and Dan), there’s no denying that much of the appeal comes from a slick pick-up line. We’ve decided to compile ten home-brewed, road-tested pick-up lines. Enjoy, and if you try any of them on us, we’ll know what’s going on.

10.) Are there any good ice cream places around here?
This is an inside joke, but still can be an effective “ice-breaker”. We happened upon it when some girls tried to pick us up at Applebee’s. Yes, we do in fact get hit on.

9.) Hey, I lost my house. Mind if I bunk with you?
The sheer insanity of someone losing their house will confuse the victim, thus making them open to any propositions.

8.) Hey, you know what’s large? My phallus.
If your phallus is not large, slip your target some hallucinogens.

7.) Your appearance is passable. Why don’t we go back to my house?
Sometimes the truth is the most effective.

6.) I bet you’re a demon in the sack.
Flattery gets you everywhere.

5.) Hey, I once met Josh and Dan in a grocery store.
References to Dan and Josh will get you action. Guaren-damn-teed.

4.) Hello, would you like to have sex with me?
Blunt and to the point. However, be wary of deterrant devices that may be used against you for saying this, such as pepper spray.

3.) Hey, what’s your name? (Response) That’s good. Want to do me?
Some people don’t like to engage in sexual activity immediately. Getting to know someone such as in the above example will almost certainly lead to lovin'.

2.) How many years do you have left on your mortgage?
Bewilderment can be an effective tool in your quest.

1.) Hey, I’m a senior editor of “The Enduring Vision”.
No explanation needed. This one only applies to Josh and Dan.

Note: We here at The Enduring Vision do not actually condone sexual activity with anonymous partners. In fact, we find a lack of morals such as that absolutely disgusting. Use the above list purely in jest, although if you actually tried to use it seriously, you'd probably be shot.

Email This Story | Comment On This Article | Back To Archives

 

Search Archives