One of my fondest memories from high school is reading Yahoo User Movie Reviews during computer class, while our teacher attempted to explain to us how to save a Word document. I know they don't sound like anything particularly funny, but trust me: you can never underestimate the grammatical blunders, nonsensical insults, and even racial slurs that the general public will spout off to anyone who might be listening.

This Week's Movie: Lady In The Water

This movie is an absolute lead brick **F**
by gunhed_5072002 (movies profile) Jul 21, 2006
1 of 3 people found this review helpful

for the doo-rag wearing hoodrats who left our theater in the middle of the movie, and those upper crust rich people's kids behind us who couldn't find 1-800-ABCDEFG on their diamond encrusted cell phones without the help of their butler.

For those of us with a brain, though, this movie was awesome. ... Oh and did I mention... I comprehended the story on the first try? That means either I'm a genius, or I'm nuts. :)

My suggestion to Shyamalan the next time around? Blow up one stick of dynamite and empty one clip of bullets from a very large handgun, and then follow it up with ten minutes of quoting Shakespeare. And be sure next time to cast Britney Spears or Leonardo Dicaprio. Your critics apparently need it and so does a large number of your audience.

Josh: Man, you sure are better and smarter than everyone else. You even figured out the secret of a critcally-acclaimed movie, which is to include guns and Shakespeare quotations! SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN.

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It was great!
by wtmissavage (movies profile) Jul 21, 2006

This film went right over the heads of most of the critics. This was too deep of a plot for unread shallow "professional" critics to get.

Josh: I'd say you need to read at least 700 books before seeing Lady In The Water to fully get the masterful plot.

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Ignore the critics
by puck_curtis (movies profile) Jul 22, 2006
1 of 1 people found this review helpful

M. Night includes a bitter film critic in the film and the character is an unflattering satire of someone who is critical without contributing any creative or useful content to the world around him. (Most of the critics have neglected to mention this in their reviews and perhaps this struck a little too close to home for some of them.)

Josh: "Bob Balaban shows sturdy comedic timing as a constipated film critic" - Dallas Morning News

"Shyamalan throws into his gooey brew an ax to grind in the form of a snippy movie critic, played by Bob Balaban, who's singled out for ridicule and worse." - Newsday

"It is the movie's proudest and biggest fart joke that the building's newest resident is a 'books and movie critic' named Mr. Farber" - Entertainment Weekly

"Bob Balaban gets to go meta, as well as metaphysical, as a snooty film critic who has moved into the Cove." - Philadelphia Inquirer

"Reliable pros such as Bob Balaban, playing the world's most heinous film critic (a stand-in for all those who have ever dissed a Shyamalan film)" - Chicago Tribune

...golly, puck_curtis. It's almost as if you pulled that statement completely out of your own ass!

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lady in the water
by bayou.chick (movies profile) Jul 22, 2006

this was the truely best movie this year. the summers best. m. night. shamelon's best. the cridicts love it, and so do i. evry one i know loved it.

Josh: I'm not sure you fully understand what "love" means.

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