One of my fondest memories from high school is reading Yahoo User Movie Reviews during computer class, while our teacher attempted to explain to us how to save a Word document. I know they don't sound like anything particularly funny, but trust me: you can never underestimate the grammatical blunders, nonsensical insults, and even racial slurs that the general public will spout off to anyone who might be listening.

This Week's Movie: The Covenant

wow
by cos_girl_18 (movies profile) Sep 6, 2006
2 of 15 people found this review helpful

this is going to be a great movie cause i am wiccan and its about time that they finaly make a movie that not only about girls being wiches but guys can also be wiccan! wich i think is a big turn on! well this movie is going to be a hit!

Josh: Couldn't you just use your powers to make them think they are wiccan?

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Awesome
by amalioti (movies profile) Sep 9, 2006

Okay, before i went to see this movie, i came here and read some reviews and almost all of them said it sucked. Well I'll tell u IT DIDN"T. I loved the movie so much. It's absolutely great, the direction might not be the best but it was all worth it. I loved it and the actors were great especially Steven. SO haters out there, stop hatin' it ain't right. lets see u act and direct ur own movie before u write crap about a movie that was good and took a lot to do. I mean its not like u could direct or act a movie.

Josh: This review takes a very direct approach and employs just one tenant from the sacred Yahoo Reasons Why Haters Hate The Movies They Hate list. Still, the reviewer has selected one of the top and most oft-cited laws:

Yahoo Users Present: Reasons Why Haters Hate Movies They Hate
1.) They are hating
2.) They could not make a better movie themselves <------
3.) They are the opposite race of the movie's protagonist/director/random extra and are therefore racist
4.) They are jealous of something
5.) They aren't in the movie

U.S. Citizen: Well, I can't say I approve of the way President Bush is handling our country, but I doubt I could be President, so I can't really criticize his hard work. Good job, fella!

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I haven't seen....
by jaylon1973 (movies profile) Sep 9, 2006

The last great movie I saw was Mission Impossible this year. Please don't give a bad review because your looking for Star Wars or The Lord of the Rings trilogy.

Josh: I think almost everytime a movie gets panned, it's just because people thought that it was supposed to be a new Star Wars or LotR movie. Similarly, "good" movies are usually just new Star Wars films.

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better than expected
by dylusional17 (movies profile) Sep 9, 2006

Don't believe the people who say it wasn't any good they probably walked out half way through the movie because they didn't understand it. The people who appreciate the era of the Salem Witch Trials will respect the movie for what its worth.

Josh: Yeah, I mean, if you're going in without realizing that The Covenant is a historical docudrama, I could see how you might not like it.

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