http://www.enduringvision.com/ Bringing the world satire and love since 1927. en-us Copyright 2000-2010 The Enduring Vision http://www.enduringvision.com/news/science_030810.php http://www.enduringvision.com/news/science_030810.php A team of paleontologists from the University of Michigan made a stunning discovery last week in India, remarkable in both its scientific importance and its rare guarantee to get them laid. Mon, 08 Mar 2010 20:00:00 GMT http://www.enduringvision.com/news/politics_030410.php http://www.enduringvision.com/news/politics_030410.php The Motion Picture Association of America, which assigns ratings to television shows and motion pictures, today gave President Barack Obama a PG-13 rating, primarily due to recent news that the President is having trouble quitting smoking. Thu, 04 Mar 2010 21:00:00 GMT http://www.enduringvision.com/letters/030310.php http://www.enduringvision.com/letters/030310.php That's right: it's our monthly celebration of the millions of people who send us letters. Out of those, only a few ever get printed, because most people, when faced with writing something the internet, are struck blind, dumb, and barely literate. Wed, 03 Mar 2010 23:31:00 GMT http://www.enduringvision.com/news/science_030110.php http://www.enduringvision.com/news/science_030110.php "That a Killer Whale would do such a thing stands in stark contrast to the thousands of stuffed Shamu dolls we sell every year," said Sea World spokesperson Wanda Banyan. Mon, 01 Mar 2010 21:00:00 GMT http://www.enduringvision.com/news/business_022810.php http://www.enduringvision.com/news/business_022810.php Toyoda faced severe criticism and questioning on Capitol Hill, which is where America keeps its most perfect, holy citizens and allows them to rule the country. Sun, 28 Feb 2010 16:30:01 GMT http://www.enduringvision.com/news/politics_022510.php http://www.enduringvision.com/news/politics_022510.php A stunning piece of bipartisan legislation passed the House and Senate today as both Republicans and Democrats joined forces to require that no cooperation between parties ever be attempted again, under penalty of catapult. Thu, 25 Feb 2010 22:30:00 GMT http://www.enduringvision.com/news/politics_022310.php http://www.enduringvision.com/news/politics_022310.php The creator and overseer of the Universe mounted another unsuccessful attempt to kill former Vice President Dick Cheney yesterday, who remains not only alive, but "resting comfortably" despite enduring his fifth heaven-sent heart attack. Wed, 23 Feb 2010 23:00:00 GMT http://www.enduringvision.com/editorials/geraldwilliambunson_022210.php http://www.enduringvision.com/editorials/geraldwilliambunson_022210.php That said, I'm said to say that my same sincere love for an interesting people has lately turned into deep sadness and disappointment, because everyone seems to be missing the fact that it's Black History Month. Nowadays, practically the whole holiday is being run by crackers like myself, and frankly, it makes me a little sick. Tue, 22 Feb 2010 23:30:01 GMT http://www.enduringvision.com/news/us_021610.php http://www.enduringvision.com/news/us_021610.php After struggling for years to find a viable career path, local man Don Frasier, 25, was pleased to announce at a press conference today that he has determined the one thing at which he truly excels: "masturbating furiously". Tue, 16 Feb 2010 22:00:00 GMT http://www.enduringvision.com/news/politics_021210.php http://www.enduringvision.com/news/politics_021210.php Former President Bill Clinton is recovering at his Chappaqua, N.Y., home Friday after undergoing a procedure to relieve an erection that he he has had since 1994. Fri, 12 Feb 2010 22:00:00 GMT http://www.enduringvision.com/news/business_020910.php http://www.enduringvision.com/news/business_020910.php Touch of Gay will also be a big sponsor of 'American Idol', 'The Tonight Show with Jay Leno', and 'Big Bang Theory'." Tue, 09 Feb 2010 23:59:00 GMT http://www.enduringvision.com/news/politics_020810.php http://www.enduringvision.com/news/politics_020810.php Scholars and researchers made a shocking announcement last week after discovering that the house currently occupied by President Obama and his family was once the home of slave-owners. The astonishing revelation comes at the height of Black History Month and has upset activists and supporters of the President. Mon, 08 Feb 2010 20:30:00 GMT http://www.enduringvision.com/news/science_020410.php http://www.enduringvision.com/news/science_020410.php Local man Steven Cooke recently proclaimed himself a nerd on his blog, inviting friends, family, and online pals into his "strange -- yet neat, fun, and maybe even a little interesting ;) -- little world." Thu, 04 Feb 2010 23:00:00 GMT http://www.enduringvision.com/news/politics_020310.php http://www.enduringvision.com/news/politics_020310.php When White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel grew frustrated enough to used the word "retarded" in a private meeting last summer, he had no idea that he was viciously disparaging an entire group of people -- people whose mental or physical capabilities are retarded by certain disabilities. Wed, 03 Feb 2010 23:00:00 GMT http://www.enduringvision.com/news/us_020210.php http://www.enduringvision.com/news/us_020210.php Ted Stanza has been known to his family for years as a "caring" and "compassionate" man. In the words of his friends, he has always been "loyal" and "trustworthy." To his neighbors next door, however, he has most likely become known as "that guy who is always having awesome threesomes with hot chicks." Tue, 02 Feb 2010 23:00:00 GMT http://www.enduringvision.com/letters/020110.php http://www.enduringvision.com/letters/020110.php It's the first letters edition of 2010! But will the sheer terror some of them invoke in us make it the last? Read on to find out...if you dare. Mon, 01 Feb 2010 21:00:00 GMT http://www.enduringvision.com/news/arts_012910.php http://www.enduringvision.com/news/arts_012910.php As reclusive in death as in life, J.D. Salinger, the famed author of Catcher in the Rye and probably some other books, has refused to allow the press to acknowledge that the writer died at age 91 of natural causes. Fri, 29 Jan 2010 23:30:00 GMT