Lord Of The Rings And Ninja Turtles: Radical Ring Power (Part II)

Pictured: copyright-fraudilicious art for our upcoming book.

IV. The Enemies Are Easily Beaten
Orcs. Ninjas. These two swarms of enemies swarmed towards our heroes, grumbling in various evil languages. It definitely looked like the end of the road to the Missing Pizza.

"This looks like the end of the road to the Missing Pizza!" shouted Frodo, grasping his glowing, cool ring in his hands, which was inscribed with the mystical, mystical, awesome inscription, "This Ring Is A Circle, Much Like Some Other Things (Like Things Turlias, Which Are What Turtles Are Called In Middle-Earth, Can Eat)."

"Yes, me precious precious ring," hissed Gollum, reaching towards the ring for reasons that everyone assumed were nice and not suspicious. "Me precious Frodo, me meant. Me ring rings loves ring."

"Wow, tell me something I don't know!" wisecracked Raph, being a jokester to hide his own fears.

"Hush up, everyone!" Leonardo admonished, grasping his large, firm swords tightly to prepare for battle. "We might end up losing here, but g** d*** i*, we've got to try!"

"I'll try, too," boomed a voice from the distance, and in ran Master Splinter, quickly flipping around and biting all of the Orcs and Ninjas and pretty much defeating all of them!

"Master Splinter?" everyone gasped at the same time.

"Wow, that was a lot like Yoda in Star Wars Episode II, since they're both old but they still have some cool moves to show!" commented Sam, who had appeared out of a nearby porthole.

"Oh, Sam!" groaned Frodo.

Everyone chuckled.

V. Gollum Hisses And Acts Strange
As Donatello, Michelangelo, Raphael, Leonardo, Gandalf, Frodo, Sam, Master Splinter, Gollum, and Casey Jones continued heading through the city to get to Middle-Earth to stop the evil Sauron and Shredder, Donatello couldn't help but be suspicious of Gollum, who was drooling and muttering something about loving to steal things and rings.

"The others don't notice because they don't have superior brain power and awesome inventions, but I think something may be up with that little troll guy," Donatello thought to himself. "He seems awfully interested in Frodo's ring..."

"Say, Frodo," he asked casually, putting his hands in his pockets and whistling. "Where'd you get that ring, and why is it so awesome?"

"DID ME'S HEAR SOMEBODY SAY ME'S RING?" Gollum hissed, jumping on Frodo's back, who merely laughed and joked, "Jeez, Gollum, quit horsing around!"

"Stop the horseplay, guys," Leonardo admonished, jumping on Michelangelo's back. "Frodo, is your ring the source of all the power in Middle-Earth?"

"Well, it was," Gandalf lectured, shooting a nearby robber with his white electricity. "But that was before your pizza fell into the wrong hands."

"Still, Mr. Frodo's ring is important, too," Sam piped up, eating some potatoes. "Only the person who controls both the ring and the pizza will be able to rule Middle-Earth."

"Even if I just had the ring, though, that'd be pretty radical tubulurosa!" yelled Michelangelo, eating some pizza (just regular pizza). "And I'd definitely want it if I was some small troll dude!"

"I know of one small troll dude," Donatello thought while the rest of the gang laughed at Michelangelo's clowning, "and he just may want the ring!"

He frowned and continued working on his computer equipment.

VI. Going To Middle-Earth
Finally, the gang arrived at a...subway platform?

"Now see here, you strange aliens," Master Splinter croaked to Frodo and his crew sternly. "We could've gotten to this blasted subway station on our own!"

"Yeah, what gives, Smives?" Raphael wisecracked. "Are you telling us that we just take a normal subway to Middle-Earth?"

"Hey, I see a sign for it!" Michelangelo piped up, pointing. "Radical!"

"No, that says, 'Manhattan'," Donatello pointed out, looking it up on the computer. "Remember, Michelangelo: you can't read."

Everyone laughed, but somebody had a point: how would they get to Middle-Earth?

« Go back to Part I | Continue to Part III »

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