Letters: September 11, 2009

Is wishing for the President's death illegal, or merely just poor taste? We find out in this week's inspiring update. Plus: other stupid thoughts!

"How Do I Type My Computer?"

Getting Yahoo!Answers to explain Health Care is pure genius. At least it'll shut Obama up for a little while. Seriously, I see this guy on TV more than Samuel L. Jackson hawking a movie. I take offense to you mocking such a great idea by parodying it. For sure Glenn Beck will try to counter such a brilliant move by bringing back the Electric Company to denouce it. Two sillouettes facing each other, one says, "Fucked", the other says, "Up"..."Fucked Up".
"Death"..."Panels"..."Death Panels"...well, you get the picture.
- Kilroy

Josh: Imposter! A true Glenn Beck fan knows of his famed distaste for the Electric Company, which is clearly a state-owned institution. The free market would surely punish a private electric company that allowed its employees to sit around and say arbitrary phrases all day long.

Vague Love: BEtter Than No Love, Not As Good As Specific Love.

clap clap clap very nice - burke

Josh: Since this comment was not assigned to any particular story, we can only assume it is referring to all of them. Thanks!

President Obama, You're Fucking Finished.

Obama, you should be ashamed of your lies ... just die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Six minutes later... - Ed.]

Obama, go to Russia ... not even they will welcome you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Wilfried Stein

Josh: The best part about these comments -- besides the fact that they call for the death of a sitting U.S. President -- is that Obama did visit Russia in July, and they actually did welcome him. 46% reported having a positive attitude about the U.S., up 22% from the last poll taken when President George W. Bush was in office. Oh, Wilfried.

High School: It Follows You For The Rest Of Your Life.

I went to HS with the woman. She's still a snob 20 years later. - anonymous

Josh: People with hyphenated last names must be snobby, by order of the U.S. Constitution. Thanks for writing!

Retarded Retard: The Best Insult Ever.

I guess being as retarded as you are probably didnt realize you wrote this article on a computer... retard. - TJ

Josh: Nope. All of our articles are written on typewriters, then scanned in using OCR software. You idiot.

Drugs And Cheetos: No One Has Beaten This Yet.

If bitching accumulates wealth, I guess it explains why sitting on the couch, getting stoned and eating Cheetos hasn't gotten me anywhere. At this rate, I'm gonna be so mellow, I'll be living under a bridge...then some other homeless bum will start bitching with, "What? You have BRIDGES???" and end up CEO of CitiBank. - Steve Stoner

Josh: If you're mellow when you're stoned, you're doing the wrong drugs. Try PCP for a more insane, rage-filled high.

In Other News

Conservationists Fear Dwindling Park Space Reduces Places Kids Can Safely Get High (07/13/10)

Area Man's Use Of Pay Phone Angers, Confuses Coworkers (07/11/10)

LeBron James Announces Plan To Follow In Jordan's Footsteps, Play For Birmingham Barons Minor League Squad (07/08/10)

Anti-Incumbent Sentiment In Washington Kills Senator Robert Byrd (06/28/10)

The Enduring Vision: A Documentary In Two Parts (06/21/10)

Your Letters Answered (06/17/10)

U.S. Identifies Vast Deposits Of Unobtainium In Afghanistan (06/16/10)

BP Points Out That Oil Spill Could Give Rise To Toxic Avenger Style Superhero (06/14/10)

Area Man Definitely Counting That Walk To The Mailbox As Today's Exercise (06/10/10)

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