Letters: October 29, 2006

One of this week's letters gives me a winning lottery number, but then I throw all the money away when I realize it's making me conceited. It's a heart-warming tale of something or other, and the magic of Christmas.

Wot wot!

I've read on this site and elsewhere that Americans find the British accent hard to understand. Is this because we pronounce and spell words properly? Anyway you guys should be glad, the British accents you hear are the standard Southern accent, you should try talking to someone from Yorkshire or Cornwall, its like talking to someone whose had a stroke! - acrossthepond

Josh: There is honestly no accent in the world that I love more than a good British accent. Plus, it always reminds me of "For British eyes only" from Arrested Development, which fills me with happiness.

A stunning Doritos breakthrough!

The Original Doritos Saga - I seem to have found the answer you're looking for. Please check out this website: http://www.taquitos.net/snacks.php?snack_code=2716 - Roderick Taylor

Josh: Nice find! If this site is correct, then reader Mike really did eat an exact replica of original Doritos in our last thrilling installment of the saga. The site does speak very authoritatively about their findings, but I suppose skeptics could always question the true veracity and reliability of their statements. Still, it's a good bit of supporting evidence, so thanks!

Some sweet love.

"Democrats are probably going to become the majority party, and I'm glad as hell," said one confident citizen. "They've had all this time to work on a good secret plan to fix all that the Republicans have done, and I'm ready to see it in action."

"Bring the troops home, Republicans are stupid," opined Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid.

This is probably the funniest and most satirical two paragraphs I've seen on here in a long time! - acrossthepond

Josh: Score! I spent over $80 on the booze that lead to the creation of those paragraphs, but I see now that it was completely worth it.

Secret racism.

erm.. wtf... why do black people make u nervous? makes no fecking sence, yes i am black, and ill admit, the 'gangsters' from the HOOD, even scare, me, but why do u refer to black people 'one of them' like we have a disease. its comments liek that make us dislike caucassions. think before u put something in print - miss o

Josh: Gerald's editorial is satire, which explains that. Now how about expounding on your comment about disliking caucasians?

Spongegay Gaygay.

leave spongbob alone you know your gay to - connie

Josh: As long as we can both agree that he's gay.

Once more with Doritos.

Are you still interested in Original Doritos? They are corn flavored for starters. Email me for more information if you like - connie

Josh: We've more or less deduced that fact, connie. In fact, the only really mystery that was left was whether or not the "Toasted Corn" variety that's now on the market is a replica of original Doritos, and Roderick's letter up there seems to indicate that they are. Thanks anyway!

In Other News

Conservationists Fear Dwindling Park Space Reduces Places Kids Can Safely Get High (07/13/10)

Area Man's Use Of Pay Phone Angers, Confuses Coworkers (07/11/10)

LeBron James Announces Plan To Follow In Jordan's Footsteps, Play For Birmingham Barons Minor League Squad (07/08/10)

Anti-Incumbent Sentiment In Washington Kills Senator Robert Byrd (06/28/10)

The Enduring Vision: A Documentary In Two Parts (06/21/10)

Your Letters Answered (06/17/10)

U.S. Identifies Vast Deposits Of Unobtainium In Afghanistan (06/16/10)

BP Points Out That Oil Spill Could Give Rise To Toxic Avenger Style Superhero (06/14/10)

Area Man Definitely Counting That Walk To The Mailbox As Today's Exercise (06/10/10)

Even More Shit:



The Beast

RSS Feed

Paying The Bills: