Letters: November 21, 2009

In this edition of our popular semi-regular feature, we try to "go green" and help the environment! Read on to see if we succeed (we don't).

The EV: Bringing People Together To Make Fun Of Ohio.

Great job of Satire. Best I've seen since "Vowels for Peace". And before that the National Lampoon. I am going to make an educated guess here: the author of this piece has not resided in NE Ohio for a few years. Or, perhaps never resided in NE Ohio, but read Terry Pluto's book "The Curse of Rocky Colavito". I base this on the fact that Terry Pluto has been writing for the Cleveland Plain Dealer for the last several years. Pat McMannamon has his old gig at the ABJ. He's pretty good too. - George Rosin

Josh: We have a surprise for you, George: the author of that article is Terry Pluto. (Not really. Thanks, though!)

Can The EV Ever Be Wrong? No! (That Was Wrong.)

You are out of your fucking mind... And Pat Benatar NEVER had an album called hellraiser, and she was not banned in 45 countries. In fact she is the highest selling female act of all time. - None of your fucking business

Josh: I was going to make fun of this letter for being bizarrely furious, but it made me realize something: Pet Benatar's official discography makes no mention of an album called Hellraiser! But then, where did that image come from? Would it be crazy to assume that the writer of this letter somehow eliminated an entire Pat Benatar album from existence just to make us look silly?

Goofball: Is There Anything More Hurtful?

this is a bogus story, nice try you goofballs - Otis T

Josh: Otis here opted to use the general contact form to comment on a story, so as a result, I have no way of knowing what article he's talking about. Even so, I feel confident in saying this: Otis, you're a bogus story, and a goofball, too.

Ow, My Balls!

You would enjoy the Mike Judge movie "Idiocracy." - Big Don

Josh: Saw it, enjoyed it! I see they've been playing it on cable recently, though, and I can't really recommend watching it there. It's almost like trying to watch Borat on cable...what's the point?

A Cheerful Sentiment!

Stupid Hippies. Everybody knows conservatism is a recessive gene. But, they need not worry too much. By the time he's old enough to do some serious political damage, the Republican party will have devolved into a purer form of facism. And fascists don't like ANYBODY! Faced with this development, he'll see himself in the mirror, denounce himself and have himself shuffled off to the same camps he put his parents in. Oh, what a reunion it will be! - Kilroy

Josh: My only comment is that you wrote a letter last time, and your new letter is in exactly the same place on the webpage. WEIRD.


I was in a adult chatroom and was chatting with a person.the person was pretending to a be a 13yr old child.i am now waiting to go to court intend to be with a child.i know that if a person come into a adult chatroom and pretend to be underage teen they are role playing and the police turn it into a crime.is that fair.if i was looking for a child would i be in a adult chatroom va.2 yahoo.where you have to be 18 to come in.do you think the aclu would help me.ernest - ernest washington

Josh: Ernest, I don't know all the details of what went on here, but I'm going to guess that the ACLU probably will not help you. Now, why don't you have a seat over there?

A Former Contributor Writes In...FROM CENSORSHIP JAIL!

I'd forgotten completely about this news story. Good thing I had my tarot cards to remind me. - Dexter

Josh: Hey, now that you've remembered us, can you write like 100 more stories? We're so very tired...

The Joys Of Discovering Goth Gary For The First Time.

Haha! This is fabulous! It darkened my already dark existence to such extent that I shall applaud your rant. Brilliant, my goth. And now, when will we get the gory, oh so spooky details of your oh so dark life?

[Minutes later - Ed.]

Truly brilliant! I love your articles!!! - Avishai

Josh: Mortals can never hear of Goth Gary's troubled past. It would give them heart attacks, and an intense hatred of his mother.

A Classic EV Letter.

yall are full of crap and none of this is true - Calyx

Josh: Yes, but who are people going to believe -- some random person on the internet, or us, a real website? You lose again, Calyx!

In Other News

Conservationists Fear Dwindling Park Space Reduces Places Kids Can Safely Get High (07/13/10)

Area Man's Use Of Pay Phone Angers, Confuses Coworkers (07/11/10)

LeBron James Announces Plan To Follow In Jordan's Footsteps, Play For Birmingham Barons Minor League Squad (07/08/10)

Anti-Incumbent Sentiment In Washington Kills Senator Robert Byrd (06/28/10)

The Enduring Vision: A Documentary In Two Parts (06/21/10)

Your Letters Answered (06/17/10)

U.S. Identifies Vast Deposits Of Unobtainium In Afghanistan (06/16/10)

BP Points Out That Oil Spill Could Give Rise To Toxic Avenger Style Superhero (06/14/10)

Area Man Definitely Counting That Walk To The Mailbox As Today's Exercise (06/10/10)

Even More Shit:



The Beast

RSS Feed

Paying The Bills: