Argument Makes Man Realize His Musical Tastes Are Wrong

After a heated debate with a friend, area resident Sam Earlington had a stunning epiphany: his friend's views on music were correct, and his own were, in most cases, completely inaccurate.

The life-defining realization was sparked by an initially-light conversation concerning Bob Dylan's latest, "Modern Times", which Earlington had heard and found underwhelming.

"I said, 'Yeah, I respect the music, but I really can't get past his voice nowadays,'" Earlington recalled, smiling at himself. "Oh, what a young, naive fool I was earlier today."

Earlington's friend Lars Sniddon quickly pointed out his chum's error, suggesting initially that he was deaf and/or unable to hear properly.

"When Lars brought up that possibility, I was pretty scared at first, but then I discovered that I had heard him ask me that question, proving that I couldn't be deaf, unless I had gone deaf while thinking about whether or not I was deaf," Earlington said. "In truth, I'm still not completely sure whether or not I can hear, but me and Lars eventually figured out that I actually could hear at the time that I listened to Dylan."

But what, then, would account for Earlington not liking Dylan's aged, gravely voice...the same voice that Sniddon found lent the songs "a certain authenticity"? The answer, Earlington found, was that he was wrong.

"Lars said, 'Seriously, man, he has a good voice and you're just being picky,' and suddenly it was like, 'Eureka!'" Earlington explained. "All it took was somebody putting it that way to make me realize that I was just plain old wrong about what I thought I didn't like. Now, I can appreciate Modern Times for its blues-tinged music, symbolic lyrics, and great vocals, which lend the songs a certain authenticity."

Earlington's lesson didn't stop there, however, as he and Sniddon reasoned that if he had been incorrect about Dylan's current voice, there could be other music-related fallacies he believed in.

"We just went on to have one of the most illuminating conversations I've ever had in my life," he marveled. "For example, did you know that I once thought Keane was a pretty solid band? Nope! They're actually horrible! I also now hate The Rolling Stones, although I kind of forget why. Lars said we can go over it tomorrow if I have any questions."

As a result of the conversation, Earlington now has strong opinions on over four times the bands he did at the beginning of the day, including two entire genres he has never really heard music from before, and one that he previously hated but now doesn't like, but recognizes the importance of.

"Before, I was practically broadcasting a message that said, 'I think the Earth goes around the moon,'" Earlington said. "Now, my opinions are finally correct."

Although Earlington received his epiphany the old-fashioned way, sociologist Dr. Jill Somar says that this sort of adjustment of perception is commonplace in today's increasingly-networked world.

"Thanks to things like the internet and the flying cars that we were supposed to have by now, people have access to more opinions than they ever did before, against which they can compare their own beliefs and discover how right or wrong they actually are," she said. "Eventually, we'll all be able to consult Wikipedia or Pitchfork Media to discover the truth about music, and other sites for things like movies, videogames, and sexual positions."

Somar added that she hoped that "taking it up the ass" would eventually be judged the best in this latter category, because she prefers that the most, or at least believes she does.

Armed with his new knowledge, Earlington is taking his message to the internet just as Dr. Somar forecasted, joining forums and preaching to nonbelievers in hopes that someday, they'll match up with him and Sniddon.

"Not only do I get a great deal of pleasure in making someone realize that something that they like is actually what they may not like, but I'm doing America a favor by doing so," he said. "United we stand, divided we fall."

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