Teen Blogger Shocked To Find Parents, Other People Read Her Blog

Pictured: a public blog entry designed to be very private

15 year-old Marcy Garling told reporters she was "completely surprised and outraged" to discover that several people besides her friends, including her parents and other children at her school, read her public blog, an online journal that she says "only certain people" should read.

"My parents and the sickos I don't even know who are out there reading my blog have no respect for my privacy," she said. "I guess a teenager can't even put their innermost thoughts on a public easily-accessible Internet site without everyone trying to butt in."

Garling also expressed concern about the possible danger of the situation; provocative pictures of her in a thong and low-cut shirts could attract unwanted attention.

"What if some 40 year-old guy finds this?" she asked, gesturing to a photo of her squeezing her breasts together in an attempt to make them look bigger that was captioned "I LOVE OLDER MEN". "Isn't there some kind of Internet law to stop these freaks from reading my webpage?"

While there is no such law, a representative from Six Apart, the company that owns the LiveJournal domain and servers that Marcy's journal is kept on, reminded Marcy that Livejournal has a feature that allows only people on a user's friends list to read their journal.

"Well, yeah," Marcy said. "But I'm not going to do that."

Although she considers them to be part of the problem, Garling's parents say they were just as shocked as she was when they discovered she even had a blog in the first place.

"I thought we raised a good girl," Anita Garling, her mother, sobbed. "I never thought our daughter would be writing things about dating boys and seeing movies."

"I know how it goes!" her father, Samuel Garling, shouted, pounding his fist on the dinner table as his wife sobbed harder. "First it's the blogs, then it's the crack-cocaine!"

"Oh God," Anita added, her eyes growing even more frenzied. "She could be posting on that thing right now -- it's been over nine hours since I last spoke to her!"

"That Internet," Samuel said, shaking his head in disgust. "I mean, I'm not going to go check, but I bet that's where she is. The Internet."

The Garlings, since discovering their daughter's blog (which they will continue looking at, but only to fuel angry fights with their daughter, they say), have filed a 67 trillion dollar lawsuit against Six Apart, claiming the company should've denied their daughter service, called to inform them that their daughter had attempted to set the journal up in the first place, and paid a babysitter to come to the house and watch Marcy.

"It's time that these corporations start taking responsibility for their actions," said the Garlings' attorney. "I don't think we'd let cigarette companies sell their smokes to our children, so why should we allow them to sell these 'digital cigarettes' the same way?"

However, Marcy Garling says she is in no way ready to part with her blog, which, despite the problems it has caused her, is also "very useful" as well.

"I can use it to take a picture of my hair, then Photoshop a new haircut on to myself, then ask whoever is reading which one is better," she said. "I'll never get a haircut that my friends don't like again!"

"Definitely haircut number two -- you can wear that one on our date ;)" read one such comment by a user named CoolYoungGuyForReal42. "Hey, that reminds me, you never got back to me about your address, little lady!"

Critics of critics of blogs say that perhaps they should wait until statistics of higher kidnappings, molestation, drug use, and bad haircuts even emerge before even attempting to blame blogs for them. But the Garlings' attorney says this is a pre-emptive strike.

"In today's world, the age of waiting for a problem to arise is over," he said. "Now we must have solutions ready for problems that do not yet exist, and answers for the questions that nobody asked."

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