Obama Sweeps Weekend Primaries, Grammy Awards, Box Office Records

Illinois Senator Barack Obama had a big weekend on February 10-11 as he competed -- and won -- in four Presidential primary races, enabling him to draw virtually even with rival candidate Hilary Clinton's delegate count, even as the Clinton camp tried to say that yet-to-be-decided Ohio and Texas "are the only cool states, anyway".

As Obama-mania grew, backed by his unflagging message of hope, change, and optimism, he also got the nod for over eight Grammys, including best spoken word album and artist of the year. In the theaters, the junior Senator pulled in an impressive $18,300,000 in box office revenue over the weekend, being beaten only by the new Matthew McConaughey movie, "Matthew McConaughey On A Beach Acting Crazy With A Girl".

"To be honest, we are a little disappointed with the McConaughey win over us," admitted a senior Obama campaign strategist, "but can you do? We're still trying to find our footing amongst the percentage of female voters who are idiots, whereas that group is perhaps Matthew's only specialty."

Still, the weekend was an impressive one for Obama despite the loss in theaters. Although he had been expected to do well, few predicted him to win both the Nebraska primary and best female R&B performance.

"All of this success underscores our message: Americans are tired of the same old Washington insider games and predictable Grammy award winners," he said in a victory speech for both his win in the Maine primary as well as best rock album. "We can't keep giving awards to Alicia Keys and Kanye West and expect things to change."

Some political observers were keen to point out Obama's Grammy for best spoken word album -- a category in which he bested former President Bill Clinton. Clinton brushed off the defeat, however, as "mere reparations".

"I'm honored to let Obama and his people have this one after decades of us getting the upper hand," he said. "Now we can finally all call the whole thing even."

The Clinton campaign as a whole seems somewhat troubled by the events of the weekend; Hilary Clinton made some staffing changes on Sunday following rumors that Obama could be a contender for Best In Show at the The Westminster Kennel Club 2008 Dog Show.

The race for the Democratic nominee, however, is by no means over. Each candidate has an almost identical number of delegates, and the race may very well be decided at the Democratic National Convention by so-called "super delegates", party insiders whose votes are far more important than those of normal citizens.

"It's really the most democratic way of doing things," explained DNC chairman Howard Dean.

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