Impressive Email Solicitation For Internet University Intrigues Harvard Law School
Gaining popularity around the nation is a new type of University education. At this college, however, you won't find the typical cadre of drunken partiers, muscular jocks, or studious nerds. In fact, you would be hard pressed to find dormitories, buildings, or even a lonely frat house. Why?
According to a representative of the college, "Because the typical semester at this school last only 1.75 days -- a number any one of the number of prestigious graduates could calculate to be exactly 'about two.' Why does the typical semester last only about two days? Because the typical college term last two weeks! Why does the typical college term last only two weeks? Because the duration of the term is fourteen days! Why is this college so good?????"
Why, indeed. Graduate schools and business firms around the nation are scrambling to recruit graduates from this college, even though "There are No Required Tests, Classes, or Interviews." A representative of Harvard Law School was reached for his opinion on the matter.
"We find that because graduates of this two-week university are so interested in 'increasing their earning power!!!!!' that they tend to be more dedicated to a normal student," he said excitedly. "And because they never participated in the normal, morally destructive atmosphere of a typical University, they arrive with pale, palsied bodies and an aversion to sunlight and social contact, because they are also the types of people who are so afraid of going outside that they would pursue higher education as an internet course."
The representative considered thoughtfully, "I would probably even prefer graduates of this school to Graduates of Harvard, Yale, Pennsylvania State University, or even Shelby State Two-Year Technical School and Community College!"
Sources indicate that this preference was decided due to the students' amazing "Will to Learn From Home!!!!!!!" And the fact that it is possible to attain "All levels of Degrees...from bachelors, masters, PhD's, to MBA's."
Many students across the nation are dropping out of "Ivy League Schools!!!" to get a chance at this "QUICK, E-Z education," that has the educational power of' "A Ton of Bricks!!!" destroying "Your Brain!!!"
"Operators are waiting To Take Your Call!! Just Dial 214-853-4383 and your on you're way to a better future."