Critic Of Social Networking Websites Realizes He Has MySpace, Facebook, LinkedIn Accounts

Pictured: a confused Destino.

Vocal opponent of social networking websites and general online interaction, Brad Destino, became alarmed yesterday after discovering that he has accounts on three major social websites: Myspace, Facebook and LinkedIn.

The 28-year-old landscape architect said that the discovery "totally blindsided" him, and that he couldn't fathom how such a thing could've happened, despite acknowledging that he must've set the accounts up at some point.

"No, it's not identity theft -- thinking about it, I definitely did set up profiles on these websites, complete with my full name and a detailed list of my interests -- but still, this comes as a total shock to me," said Destino. "I could understand if I once reluctantly signed on to MySpace to check out a band I'm into, or giving in to colleagues and setting up a LinkedIn account for business, but three major social networking sites?"

"I hate people who do that," Destino said with disgust. "So lame."

The twenty-something says he became aware of his deference to the mainstream via involvement in social networking websites while listening to an NPR special about the history of online interaction.

"I think it was something that Steve Inskip said in an interview," recalled Destino. "Some sociologist was talking about how the number of Facebook pages has exceeded the national population, and that Facebook users also tend to have MySpace and LinkedIn accounts, which I thought was stupid, except that's pretty much me."

"But I don't like it," he hastily added. "Some people are way into that stupid stuff, but not me -- I only use it when I absolutely have to. Okay, sometimes I'll confirm a friend request from someone I haven't talked to since high school -- they were cool back in the day -- but I'd never instigate any of that shit, I swear."

Others, including Destino's girlfriend Elaine Hobgood, have corroborated his claims of hesitation in using online communication.

"I think it's charming how resistant he is to talk with people online, even though he must know, deep down, that his resistance is futile," said Hobgood. "He put up the same fuss about texting -- I remember getting into a fight over whether or not texting 'where u at' physically makes you stupid -- but now he even does that while he's driving, just like everyone else."

Still, Destino seems determined to keep up his fight against "the dull minutiae that is social networking", as he calls it, even if he is a participant in it.

"Whenever he updates his Facebook status, it's always something to the tune of how much he hates it when people update their status, or think that anyone else cares about what's happening to them today," said Emily Bardston, identified as a former classmate of Destino and one of his closest internet friends. "It's so true! We're all so addicted to this stuff, it's hilarious. I really wish he would post about that more often."

Bardston further suggested that Destino should start a Twitter feed.

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