Car In Which Gas Is Passed Passes Gas Station; Both Occupants Silently Consider Irony
A car in which Benjamin Davis and Laura Petrie of Sandersburg, Ohio were driving Wednesday, passed a gas station, shortly after Davis had emitted a silent, olfactorily noticeable passage of wind.
But although both Davis and Petrie reportedly thought about the methane gas in the car in connection with the petroleum gas for sale to their immediate right, neither said anything.
"I didn't really want to mention [the farting], because Ben has IBS, and he's sensitive about it, and prone to farting," said Petrie, referring to Irritable Bowel Syndrome, a condition affecting at least 20% of Americans. "We're not that far along in our relationship, and I don't think he has a sense of humor about it."
Judging from Davis' reaction to the event, Petrie exercised correct discretion by not openly discussing the flatulence.
"I was horribly, horribly embarrassed," admitted Davis, who also said that the wind passing was all he thought about for the "next five minutes". "But I don't know that she knew. I mean, I certainly know I did it, and am mortified. I can't stand the thought of her thinking of me like that."
When asked for clarification in regards to "like that", Davis added, "You know, like a farter."
But although she was very much aware of the flatulence, Petrie did not spend the subsequent minutes thinking of Davis as "a farter", but rather considered whether or not it was truly ironic to pass a gas station after passing gas.
"I tried a variety of things to help me think of whether or not it was irony," she said, citing the critical drubbing Alanis Morissette received over her song "Ironic" and the nation's current high gas prices as factors that she considered.
Her final decision, however, was that the wind passing was not, in fact, ironic.
"People pass gas stations all the time, and they fart while doing so," she said. "I think irony is when something's unexpected, maybe."
Davis' contention, meanwhile, is that the event was in fact ironic.
"Think about it: I passed gas, and at the same time, we drove past a gas station," he said, emphasizing words and speaking slowly in an attempt to get our reporter to understand him. "Since both things are gas, it's irony."
But Davis admitted that the irony was "the furthest thing from his mind" in the minutes just after the event.
"Everything was going perfectly," he fretted. "Now, [Petrie] must hate me...that is, if she even noticed the smell."
He plans to make up for it by buying her roses and perfume, he said.