Americans Wish They Weren't So Enthralled With BTK Murders

Americans from all walks of life, from residents of Kansas down to young children with no previous knowledge of the serial killer who murdered 10 people in Wichita between the 1974 and 1991, are upset by their morbid fascination with the highly publicized case. Sound clips of the courtroom hearings, in which Dennis Rader, otherwise known as the BTK Killer, described the assault and murder of his victims were everywhere on the evening news, causing many Americans to deeply consider changing the station until realizing that they weren't going to.

"I could barely stand to watch the constant news coverage [of the trial]. I almost had to get back to watching 'Red Dragon' to calm me down," lamented bank teller Barbara Coyne to co-workers while on lunch break. "I can't believe that a person would take pleasure in crushing a person's windpipe with his bare hands. It was so revolting that I couldn't believe how quickly the time passed while I watched it."

"Do you think there's a more detailed video of it available online?" she asked. "That would be very disturbing to watch. I almost couldn't imagine watching it, but how do you think you spell 'Rader'?"

The sordid details of the trial, brought to light during the evening news and on countless radio broadcasts, made Americans uncomfortable enough to look at each other with disgusted and concerned expressions as minute-by-minute updates emitted from the courtroom. The gruesomeness of the killings was enough to cause real-estate salesman Eric Scully to wait until getting to work in the morning to read about the case on the Internet.

"It was really hard to sit there and listen to him go into detail about locking children in closets and killing families, so I had to take a break and wait to learn more in the morning," he said as he underlined the really revolting parts of the AP's report on the story to show them to friends and family later. "Look at this -- what kind of sick fucker strangles a 62 year-old woman with pantyhose? They shouldn't be putting this kind of stuff in the newspapers."

Scully, before returning to his desk to check for the latest updates in the case, scoffed at the idea of Rader living out his sexual fantasy by killing his victims, or, as he called them, "projects".

"I've got a fantasy for you," laughed the salesman, "and it involves hanging this sick fuck by his thumbs over a big swimming pool of broken glass. Yeah, that's what I'd do if I were the judge."

Others were not so intrigued by the case as they were intrigued by being intrigued by the case. The question "How could an ostensibly normal person find the first-person account of a cold-blooded and brutal murder to be so fascinating that skipping dinner to listen his personal account of his actions seemed okay and even enjoyable"' has been asked repeatedly by concerned citizens.

"I'm a little alarmed that my first reaction to the case was to sit down and write out a treatment for a Hollywood biopic of the BTK killer," said Brett Livingston, 28, commercial actor and Shakespeare troupe director. "I mean, it'd make a great story, and I hope I can have a piece of it when they do get around to making it, but I might not want to make a habit out of things like this."

Some also worry that the allure of psychopathic behavior might cause the spread of serial murderism to their children.

"No, don't watch the news! Here, go to your room and do your homework!" concerned mother, Charna Brodsky said to her 14 year-old son, who was assigned to do a book report on "Slaughterhouse Five" for English class. "He's going to grow up to be a killer! He and all of his friends. I can just tell by that look in their eyes."

As details continue to emerge, the American public remains horrifically glued to the television and Internet for updates that they claim to actually not want to hear.

"Oh, god here comes another update that I don't want to read," quietly said Scully as a new headline about Rader emerged onto after his 43rd refresh of the morning. "Oh, god that's so disgusting!" he exclaimed, running to get his coworkers to come and shouting, "Check this shit out!"

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