Area Man Ostracized For Not Using Cell Phone In Movie Theater

26 year-old Peter Loren committed what many are calling the ultimate social faux pas this past Saturday night, when he failed to send a phone call, receive a phone call, or otherwise utilize any function of his cellular phone during the 130 minutes he was inside a movie theater.

Tina Hansell, his date for that evening, said she was "utterly humiliated" by Loren's social ineptitude.

"He just seemed like such a normal guy at first," she said. "I had no way of knowing that he would act like such a complete loser during our date."

Hansell says the date began normally, with the two entering the theater to watch the movie and several cell phones going off all around them as the film progressed, including Hansell's. But as the movie went on, she began to have an inkling that "something was wrong".

"He hadn't used his phone in over an hour, and I was starting to wonder if he'd ever use it," she said. "I mean, I know it sounds crazy, but he hadn't even checked his voicemail yet!"

True to Hansell's fear, the film concluded with Loren never having used his cell phone, despite virtually every single other person in the crowded theater having done so at least once. But to make matters worse, Hansell claims that Loren actually appeared to be harboring spite towards those who did use their phones.

"I called my mother to tell her I was at the movies, and I'd call her later, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Peter giving me this look, like I was doing something wrong," she said in disbelief. "Well excuse me, Mr. High And Mighty! Maybe you'd just rather have my mother sit around for two hours, wondering and wondering what I was doing at that moment, and when I was going to call her next!"

John and Laura Milak, a couple that Loren and Hansell double dated with, were also disappointed with the lack of Loren's phone usage.

"Nothing against Peter, but that was just really ignorant," John said. "You go to the movies, you use your cell phone. I'm surprised someone around us didn't say something to him. Heck, I almost did, and I'm his friend."

"The usher eventually had to come over and politely ask him if he was having trouble with his service in the theater," Laura added, sighing. "I felt really bad for his date -- she just looked mortified."

Loren's failure to properly use his phone is just one in a string of failures to "get with the times", John claims.

"He invited me over to his apartment the other night to watch a movie...on VHS," he said, shaking his head. "Tape, for Christ's sake. Even if I wanted to do that, I'm sure I wouldn't be able to see the screen through all the fuzz, not to mention not being able to hear a damn thing because you can't get true 5.1 Surround Sound out of it...not that Peter has the speaker set-up for that, of course."

"He's really stuck in the 1800's," he added sympathetically. "I feel bad for him, I really do."

Unfortunately for Loren, it appears that Hansell is also dissatisfied with his usage of technology, citing his behavior with the cell phone as the main reason that she will likely not go on another date with him.

"I just don't want to be seen with someone who doesn't think of others when he's out at the movies," she said. "Why even have a cell phone?"

According to Loren, the cell phone is for "emergencies"...a fact he cannot quite understand why Hansell and others are having difficulty understanding.

"Call me crazy, but I'd rather watch the movie," he said. "Isn't that why we go to the movies?"

"Uh, you can download those now, you know," John said when told of Loren's statement. "Oh wait, you don't even have broadband yet, do you? Good fucking lord."

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