Why Can't We Just Love Everyone?

Pictured: Harold Hippie

Brothers and Sisters, I don't want to give you all kinds of negative vibes here, and you might even want to get some herbal tea before reading this next sentence, but here goes: I think that there are some people in this world who are too hate-filled.

I know what you're thinking (and not just because of our natural mental bonding): how can anyone out there have hate when there's so many beautiful things in the world, like flowers and the sky, and mind-altering drugs to enhance the flower and the sky? Well, I really can't answer that. All I know is that it's out there, and that something needs to be done somehow.

I came across some of this no-no-negative-Nancy hating just today, when I was waiting in line at the 7-11 to buy one of their tofu dogs they have (it sure doesn't taste like tofu to me, but the man working the counter said, "Sure, whatever," when I asked him if they were, and I know he wouldn't lie to his fellow man). There I was, anticipating the meaty, chunky taste of the tofu, when all of a sudden an individual who was not in touch with their life force karma came bursting in, wielding some kind of life-taking gun!

"Give me all your money, ass," the man said, waving his pistol at the clerk.

"Listen to yourself, man," I said, shaking my head sadly and eating my to-dog. "Worshipping the Almighty Dollar once again. What did money ever buy for you, besides food and clothing and things that you like?"

"What the fuck?" the man shouted, whirling on me.

"All I'm saying is, maybe you should've asked the clerk for all his love instead of money," I suggested. "That way, you --"

I didn't get much further than that, Earth Brethren of the Soil, because this poor, misguided soul decided to use his freedom of choice to shoot me in the shoulder, which, I admit, did rattle my spirit a little bit.

"Oh," I said as I slumped to the floor, feeling bad about losing control but not being able to help it. "Oh, man. You shot me. That's not really cool."

I know -- totally negative Nellie. I lost control of myself, I'll admit, but I quickly tried to apologize.

"Now, I didn't mean that, man," I said as I tried to pull my emergency Friend Flower from my back pocket. "Let's all be cool, here."

"Cool this!" my potential friend-in-the-making said, and shot me in my other shoulder, which caused me to smile, as he had evened out the damage, which was clearly a friendly step in the right direction.

"Thank you!" I shouted as he ran off with his money, blood spurting out of my mouth. The clerk offered to call the doctor, but I waved him away.

"And get a prescription for some man-made drugs that won't help me at all?" I said, getting up but promptly slipping on my own blood and falling back down. "No, thanks. I'll just rub some eucalyptus leaves in there, and --"

At that point, I lost consciousness, but a few manmade stitches and a blood transfusion later, I was as good as new. I would've rather used aloe and mineral water, but hey, whatever. My fellow man was just trying to help. I can't blame him for his ignorance.

So you see, friends, the bottom line is this: I took a situation filled with hate that could've been real ugly, and I changed it for the better with a little love and compassion. I think the rest of the world could take a little lesson from the 7-11 of love.

Harold Hippie is a Steward Of The Earth living in California. He discourages people from reading this column on a computer or printed out on paper.

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