As a modern American college student, Scott is truly exemplary, with binge drinking, anonymous sex, and party attendance records that are at the top of the national averages. The future is bright for this young man, and his columns hint at his upcoming career as a CEO or Wall Street executive.
Meet the best that American youth has to offer in the pieces below.
U.S.
Conservationists Fear Dwindling Park Space Reduces Places Kids Can Safely Get High (07/13/10)
U.S.
Area Man's Use Of Pay Phone Angers, Confuses Coworkers (07/11/10)
Sports
LeBron James Announces Plan To Follow In Jordan's Footsteps, Play For Birmingham Barons Minor League Squad (07/08/10)
Politics
Anti-Incumbent Sentiment In Washington Kills Senator Robert Byrd (06/28/10)
Video
The Enduring Vision: A Documentary In Two Parts (06/21/10)
Letters
Your Letters Answered (06/17/10)
World
U.S. Identifies Vast Deposits Of Unobtainium In Afghanistan (06/16/10)
U.S.
BP Points Out That Oil Spill Could Give Rise To Toxic Avenger Style Superhero (06/14/10)
Health
Area Man Definitely Counting That Walk To The Mailbox As Today's Exercise (06/10/10)
