Business News
If politicians are the gods among us, then businessmen are our angels. These warriors of capitalism keep our economy going in a way that's fair for everyone -- especially them. Whenever you're in trouble, just seek out a businessman. His charity and good nature will set you right in no time.
Discover more facts about business by clicking any year below.
2010 (new stories appear first)
2009 (listed alphabetically)
- Doggie Boutique Regrettably Unaffected By Recession
- Dow Up 240 Points In Response To News That Dow Is Up 200 Points
- Employee Expects Co-Workers Will Eventually Enjoy Free Jazz If Played Just Loud Enough To Reach Their Desks
- Man Hired Thanks To Impressive Photo Commenting Skills, Twitter Updates, Cat Picture Collection
- Obama Administration Fails Automakers; Automakers Plan To Change Grade To 'B+'
- Passive-Aggressive Fistfight Breaks Out Over Email
- Report Questions Sustainability Of Pessimistic Economists In Stabilizing Economy
- Survey Finds That One Out Of Five People At This Morning's Meeting Masturbated In The Shower
2006-2008 (listed alphabetically)
- Executives Hope Couric Move To CBS Will Improve Image Of Horrific World Events
- Ford To Market Car Bomb Models In Iraq
- Free-Spirited Bridge Engineer Has No Regrets For Past Mistakes
- Google Rejects Bob's Demand For Search Records
- Merck Cuts 7,000 Jobs To Help Boost Anti-Depressant Sales
- New Disney Ride For Elderly Not Off To Good Start
- Office Workers Trapped With Asshole Not Sure How Long They Can Hold Out
- Verizon Announces 'Drink-And-Dial' Cell Plan For Heavy Drinkers
- Woman Quits Job Over 70 Times On Her Blog
- Work Beginning To Interfere With Internet
2005 (listed alphabetically)
2004 (listed alphabetically)
- Consumer Reports: 'Fun Size' Snickers Actually Less Fun
- Employee Pins Hopes Of Patched Relations With Coworkers On Box Of Donuts
- GM Recalls Vehicles Equipped With Driver-Side DVD Player
- McDonald's Counters Controversial 'Super Size Me' Documentary With In-House 'Salad Without Dressing Me'
- 'Now & Later' Candy Renamed 'Now & Now, God Damnit'
- Office Assistant Listens To 'Take It To The Limit', Tests Limits Of Banality
- 'Old-Fashioned' Paint Company Prides Itself On Quality Paint, Slave Wages For Workers
- Online Petition Causes Business To Rethink Its Strategy
2003 (listed alphabetically)
2000-2002 (listed alphabetically)
- 'Crazy Deals' Actually Quite Sane
- 'Coke With Booze' To Be Test-Marketed
- More archived material coming soon -- check back often!
