Letters: June 17, 2010

Another letters update? That makes two in one month! What the hell is this, some kind of operational website? Top scientists are working on the answer. We are paying them with the money from our super-lucrative text ads. Anyway, let's see what you have to say!

Something The Youngins Wouldn't Get...

I am aghast to discover the return of the EV. You have failed in your correspondence with me, Mr.Dorito of the Dorito company. Now you will not receive that lifetime supply of ORIGINAL Doritos that I promised you so many years ago. - MrDoritooftheDoritocompany

Josh: You! I always knew you would return one day, so I *KILLS YOU*

A Baseless And Tortful Allegation!

Where is that bullshit smell coming from? I know, the person who wrote this bs. - Liar

Josh: I would point out that according to your name -- your very own name that you voluntarily signed, sir! -- it is you who is a liar. You lose!

A Reader Makes A Point.

O'Rielly needs to take his own advice, he has rants like a little baby is his style of delivery for his show - Roderick

Josh: You've clearly missed the point of the article.

Hmm, Yes. (WHAT)

Hilarious presentation. Also, FNM is from San Francisco, as I am sure you realize. - Lola

Josh: This letter is an important lesson for all readers: if you do not use the cool comment button at the bottom of articles, and instead use our general contact form, we will have no idea what you are talking about. (Sorry, Lola.)

Same Thing!

You are very stupid to wrote this shit.Next time try to find something more intelligent. - alexandra

Josh: Argh, if only we knew what shit you were talking about! Then we would probably say, "Good point, alexandra. We are stupid to wrote that shit."

A Very Concerning Letter.

oh my heavens! This made me laugh harder than anything lately! Thank you for this article. It's soooo true and hilarious at the same time. I'm engaged to a felon. We met while he was incarcerated. I approached him on the job while he was on work release. We are having the love affair of a lifetime. Don't give up. Some of us squares are real cool if you give us a chance. - A Felons Girlfriend

Josh: Thanks for the kind words, but if that article was "so true" for you, you may want to bail out before your face gets peeled off.

In Other News

Conservationists Fear Dwindling Park Space Reduces Places Kids Can Safely Get High (07/13/10)

Area Man's Use Of Pay Phone Angers, Confuses Coworkers (07/11/10)

LeBron James Announces Plan To Follow In Jordan's Footsteps, Play For Birmingham Barons Minor League Squad (07/08/10)

Anti-Incumbent Sentiment In Washington Kills Senator Robert Byrd (06/28/10)

The Enduring Vision: A Documentary In Two Parts (06/21/10)

Your Letters Answered (06/17/10)

U.S. Identifies Vast Deposits Of Unobtainium In Afghanistan (06/16/10)

BP Points Out That Oil Spill Could Give Rise To Toxic Avenger Style Superhero (06/14/10)

Area Man Definitely Counting That Walk To The Mailbox As Today's Exercise (06/10/10)

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