Letters: November 12, 2006
What do the letters look like after I abruptly didn't update and answer the old ones last week? Let's fine out. Bonus to anyone who comments on the now-updated Donald Rumsfeld in the banner. At least I made him look sad now!
Worse than Goth Gary letters.
LET THE GIRLS GROW UP!!! i am a 21 yr old female who has grown with te girls. i used to watch all the movies and never missed an episode of full house. i love the girls. when they grow up so does everyone else. i understand that there are young teens now that love the girls but why does this mean that they cant grow them selves? look at lindsay lohan, she has played a sweet teen in almost every movie she's been in, but look at how she is when she isnt on the screen? hse is a drunk and a horrible role model for preteens. but no ones says anything about that and parents still are ok with kids watching her stuff. at least the only thing that the girls have done is have a bit of an eating diaorder but she took the right rought(beign a good role model and all) and she showed the public that she is taking care of it. she also opened pandoras box by telling every one of the condition and look how many others came out with the SAME problem. that is what a good role model is. NOT what she does on screen but what she does off screen. what goes in the tabloid that all those pre teens read. LET THEM GROW UP. its not such a bad thing. every one just wants them to stay pure and under 16. i for one am excited to see the action these girls can bring to the screen. i say DO IT DO IT DO IT!! YOU GO GIRLS!!! - jenniferOLSEN
Josh: Wait, are the Olsen twins still around? I thought that after they did that New York movie that bombed, they shriveled up and died.
Shitty Goth Gary shit.
I think that all the gothyic people should be shot dead right in school and carryed out in potatoe sacks - Dillon Loomis
Josh: I like your style, and I'm sure Dan Quayle appreciates your take on how to spell "potato".
Regarding the weird things you're seeing on the campaign trail, this one really got me:
(Depressed incumbents about to face losing their jobs and having to sell their houses on the depressed Washington D.C. real estate market)
Oh Boo-Fucking-Hoo! Welcome to my world! I used to be a highly paid professional but now I'm a homeless wino living on the streets. Then I lost my job, my home, my wife and family. No, I'm serious, I actually lost them when I lost my mind after 2 hits of acid, a jug of Boones Farm and some chick on my lap. I don't recall much after that boat docked. All I have is this picture to remind me.
So how am I supposed to feel sorry for a loser politican? No, I'm serious, somebody tell me... I don't remember.
Anybody know if I won or not? - Gary Hart
Josh: Yes, yes, you won all right. Please stop.
Buh II: Electric Boogaloo.
HAVANA (AP) - Photographs of Fidel Castro standing and talking on the phone were published Sunday in Cuba's state-run media, a day after the ailing leader appeared in a video to dispel rumors he was on his deathbed.
The Communist Youth newspaper Juventud Rebelde dedicated its front page to the Cuban president, printing a blown-up picture of a pensive Castro with the title "Always fighting for something, and fighting with optimism!" - bestec-burjuiam
Josh: Good for him?
What is up with you guys and your hiatuses? The Daily Probe took to doing this too, and then they were gone. I would miss your web site. It is very frustrating to look for the late Sunday update and get some lame joke instead. Come on, you can do it! - Judy
Josh: Hey, I happen to take great pride in our hiatus jokes. In fact, I plan to eventually turn the website into one giant hiatus joke that's updated every week.
Hiatus discussion ANNIVERSARY TOO!
Wheres the EV love dude? I can feel your commitment to this waning somewhat *sheds silent tear at prospect of finding alternate outlet for satire* BAD VIBES MAN. (Happy 6th Birthday Love by the way) - acrossthepond
Josh: Wow, someone remembered the upcoming sixth anniversary! Consider the angry letter I was considering writing to the British government on their stance on inserting "u" into words dropped.
OH GOD SOMEBODY KILL US
WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE? WHAT'S HAPPENED TO OUR MORALS? WE PAY BILL CLINTON THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS TO SPEAK TO OUR STUDENTS AND HE IS ALWAYS IN THE FOREFRONT. HE COMMITTED ADULTERY, HAD ORAL SEX DURING HIS TERM IN OFFICE AND WE TREAT HIM LIKE A PRIEST. WE ARE ANGRY AT PRESIDENT BUSH BECAUSE HE FOUGHT BACK. A FOREIGN NATION CAME TO OUR COUNTRY. THEY MURDERED THOUSANDS OF MEN, WOMAN, AND CHILDREN. CIVILIANS GOING TO WORK. OUR MEN AND WOMAN FIGHTING TO KEEP US FREE FROM TERRIOSTS KNOW THE DANGERS OF WAR. OUR CIVILIANS MURDERED ON 911 WERE HARD WORKING FAMILIES SUPPORTING THEIR FAMILIES. OPEN YOUR EYES AMERICA.I BELIEVE IN PRESIDENT BUSH - LETHIA
Josh: If this was a satirical letter, I'd commend it and say good job on the little details like "CIVLIANS GOING TO WORK", that one gave me a chuckle. Unfortunately, I'm not so sure.
Good ideas that I'll probably never get around to, part XVIII.
Dude you should, like, TOTALLY put your videos on youtube, unless you already have, in which case I haven't seen it anywhere - acrossthepond
Josh: I know, definitely. I keep meaning to do that. The EV is seriously lagging behind the times in this newfangled video business. I still say radio and pictures will never work.
Why do I print these, edition XXXIV.
thick diz is a load of shit fuck u - 836
Josh: That's right folks, say it together: WHY DO I PRINT THESE? Tune in next week when I receive a retarded letter, and wonder why I printed it!
Some much-needed love.
Ok, not sure if you were making fun of Bush, the Memosplatz or the voters.. but no matter what it was.. this could be the funniest political satire in the history of mankind. It made me look up old contacts in Outlook who may not even be alive anymore to make sure i had sent it to everyone! Now what we need is a good story on Charlie Crist's (new gov of FL) tan! Keep up the awesome work, i love the articles, they go well with coffee. - Rory August
Josh: Thanks dude, especially on the article-forwarding part! I always knew The EV went well with something, and now I know it's coffee.
Ending with the best./h2>
You are about as intelligent as a piece of shit.You are the reason people think there are no real men left. You kiss the womens asses so you can get a piece of ass. Quit agreeing with the candy ass media and be a man. - Ronald T Fisher
Josh: My favorite part about this letter is the suggestion that by writing female-friendly satire, the ladies come running to our doors. Quiet, bitches! Daddy's almost done updating. I know how hot that gets you.