Man Mistakenly Believes Saying Lines Along With Movies Is Cool And Interesting
24 year-old Cleveland, Ohio resident Bobby Moore has labored under the belief for "at least eight years", according to close friends, that simultaneously saying lines to familiar movies as the characters on screen say them is a "cool trick" that makes him popular and liked.
In fact, say those close to him, the exact opposite is true.
"Everybody just kind of cringes when Bobby shows up at some gathering or party with his copy of 'Happy Gilmore' in his hand," said friend Jim Tanaka. "It's like going to the dentist to get a cavity filled: you know the pain is coming, but that doesn't make it any easier to face."
Tanaka and others say that Moore unwittingly makes himself the object of eye-rollings, sighs, and glares of annoyance "at least once a month" through his movie-reciting.
"I don't know who, along the course of his life, gave him the advice that memorizing the lines to movies that anybody could memorize anyway was a good way to make friends, but they should be smacked," Tanaka said firmly. "It's not fun, and nobody thinks he's cool. They think he's stupid, and he is."
Tanaka said that Moore's problem is so severe that it has prevented him from attaining a girlfriend, or even an occasional love interest.
"Any girls that are minutely attracted to him are instantly turned off when he shrieks 'STEVIE! TIME TO LEAVIE!' at the top of his lungs while 'The Cable Guy' is on," Tanaka said. "I mean, for God's sake. What girl would like that?"
Even worse, says friend Joseph Keller, is Moore's reaction to people who try and join him in saying the lines with the intention of making him look less foolish.
"Inevitably, somebody will say one word differently, since not everybody can spend all of their fucking time memorizing the words to movies," Keller said. "And as soon as that unfortunate soul misquotes that one word, Bobby is all up in their face, loudly stating the correct word over and over again, as if the entire room is going to rally behind him because he's the one who knew the correct word. Actually, Bobby, nobody cares."
Tanaka corroborated Keller's complaint, having been the victim of one of Moore's outbursts.
"We were watching 'Star Wars', and I tried to say, 'These aren't the droids you're after,'" Tanaka recalled, wincing at the memory. "Bobby starts jumping up and down and shouting, 'Looking for! Actually it's looking for! IT'S LOOKING FOR JIM!' He had the first heart attack about a minute later."
"The sad thing is, I think people would've liked him more had he not corrected me," he added. "As it was, people were muttering 'nerd alert' because he flipped out so god damn much."
But while Moore's friends are quick to criticize him, they are also reluctant to directly speak to him about his problem.
"He just likes movies so much, and he gets so into the quotes, I'd feel like a real dick if I talked to him about it," Tanaka said. "But it really is annoying, especially when he acts like it's some kind of real talent and says it's going to land him on Jeopardy some day. They don't even have questions like that on Jeopardy, and if they do, they're sandwiched between knowing who was King of England in 1623 and knowing the technical term for cracking your knuckles."
Moore was reached for comment, but was reportedly busy committing "White Chicks" to memory.