Ohio resident Tai Palmer, a 34-year-old human resources manager, announced today the official formation of his blog, called "Tai A Tie".
"My blog is going to focus on all things Tai: my thoughts on human resources, funny road signs, and maybe even a few vague, not-really-thought-through political thoughts here and there," Palmer said at a press conference. "I'm confident that my blog will be an important component of the overall blogosphere."
The nation's news sources -- including other blogs, cable news stations, and a few ancient pieces of cellulose pulp with words written on them called "news-paupers" -- quickly jumped on the story, which rose to prominence even above news concerning healthcare reform and cheaper iPods.
"What are bloggers saying about this blog?" demanded CNN's Wolf Blitzer of Buzz "Smitty" Dudeski, the network's blog and youth correspondent, on tonight's edition of Blog Blogs. "Smitty, tell us about the blogs now, please. Please hurry, for Jesus Christ's sake."
"Whoa, this blog is something else, Wolf," said Smitty. "This is definitely a blog on the internet. Do you like blogs and the internet? Let us know on our blog, CNN 24/7/365 at cnn.com/blog/talkaboutblogs.andshit."
"Hey, check out this new blog," read one post on "Blog Round-Up", a blog dedicated to other blogs -- including itself. "We give it four blogs out of five, which means: read this blog, make a few comments, but hold off on subscribing to the RSS feed for now. You don't want to make that kind of commitment yet to such a young blog."
In the six hours that his blog went live, Palmer made 32 posts, although some critical readers say the blog reached its creative zenith around post 14, and has never recovered since then.
"Eh, I liked it better when he wasn't, like, aware of himself," explained reader Jon Horowitz. "Now he's become cognizant of his own style, and the whole thing is kind of self-aggrandizing at this point, which is really surprising and disappointing."
Horowitz said more of his thoughts on Palmer's blog are available on his Tai Palmer's blog critique blog, "Untying Tai".
Palmer says he's aware of the mounting apathy over his rapidly-aging blog, and plans on re-engaging his audience with a Twitter feed.
"It will be a lot like my blog, but with all the filler removed," he said. "You'll really just get the crucial stuff about Tai: my reaction to that dude getting kicked off Hell's Kitchen, for instance, or my thoughts on the instant brown rice bowl I just microwaved."
When asked for comment, 48% of Americans had no idea what the hell anybody was even talking about anymore.
"Whose log?" asked a Pennsylvania woman who would only be identified as "Aunt Rita". "What?"
"Oh, I get it," said 45-year-old Paula Kingston of Minnesota unconvincingly. "This is like, that whole FaceSpace thing, right? Does somebody want to make friend me?"
Tai Palmer is currently in talks with three Hollywood movie studios to turn his blog into a movie. No one is sure how this will work.