Special Report: Could Your Kindly Neighbor Be A Pedophile?

Area resident Joel Rodgers used to have neighbors that generally kept to themselves, lending the neighborhood a sense of privacy and quiet that Rodgers valued. Most of all, he says, he valued the confidence he had that none of his neighbors was a pedophile.

But that all changed when a new neighbor moved in -- one whose bizarrely talkative, outgoing nature and somewhat strange appearance is tainting the once-innocent neighborhood.

"I knew he was trouble from the get-go, when we had a few minutes of awkward conversation when I ran into him moving in as I was taking the trash out," Rodgers recalled. "He said hi, which was okay, and then said that he hoped he'd 'be seeing me around'. What the hell does that mean?"

Further observations by Rodgers, including the fact that the neighbor speaks with a slight lisp and wears one particular shirt frequently, led him to suspect the shocking truth: the man is a pedophile.

"I remember where I was when I finally realized what was going on -- you don't forget a thing like that," he said, looking pained. "I heard him talking to another neighbor about how he was sad that they were moving out, and that he'd sure miss seeing their...their daughter."

"She's only five years old!" he screamed in anguish. "What kind of sick bastard is constantly thinking about stuff like that?"

But while the little girl who moved away with her family may be escaping the neighborhood, there are other children still present who are probably being subjected to horrors every day, says Rodgers.

"He drives a weird car, too," he whispered to our reporter furtively, looking around as if to confirm that his neighborhood had not snuck into his house to listen in on the conversation. "It's like this Jeep, only it's weird. It probably looks that way due to the special modifications on the inside for little kids to be handcuffed."

Rodgers' neighborhood may now contain a pedophile, but what about countless other neighborhoods like his across the country? Could they also be harboring individuals exhibiting the telltale signs of forbidden child love? According to many people just like Rodgers, yes.

"This one guy across the street sometimes leaves his garage open, and I always see all kinds of posters of naked models in there," said one concerned citizen in a suburban cul de sac. "I figure that means he's a gay sexual predator who is just using posters like that as a ruse."

"Guy living next to me made some kind of joke the other day," confessed another neighborhood resident. "I felt like saying, 'I don't understand what you're saying, but why don't you fucking stop it with the raping of little girls in your god damned sick little playhouse basement while you parade them around like little dolls in a fucking sicko pervert parade?'"

While the law cannot be involved in most of these cases due to a lack of substantial proof, many victims of the likely-pedophiles' presence have banded together to form support groups for each other. They meet weekly or monthly to comfort one another, and help each other imagine scenarios of pedophilia that their neighbors most likely engage in.

"You can't trust anyone these days -- that guy who has that strange mustache is probably chaining little boys from the neighborhood up in his kitchen right now, splashing spaghetti sauce on their faces so he can lick it off," says Chet Dramuld, president of the northeast chapter of Citizens Concerned For The Well-Being Of Our Neighborhoods Being Comprised By Overly-Friendly Or Overly-Shy Strange-Looking People Moving In And Being Pedophiles (CCFTWBOONBCBOFOOSSLPMIABP) at a meeting. The other attendees, who number in the hundreds of thousands, nod resolutely.

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