That Was A Pretty Good Trip To The Grocery Store

Pictured: Nancy Normal

Going to the grocery store is something that's inevitable, so I try and make the best out of it. Some days are worse than others, though, like when there are long lines, or when they're out of a certain kind of cereal that the kids like, or when my coupons don't get doubled because of some ineligibility that I didn't see in the fine print. When that stuff all adds together, it's really enough to drive anyone a little bonkers!

I'm happy to report that nothing like that happened today, though. In fact, I would call today's grocery store trip "pretty good". For example, on a scale of 1-10, with one being the lowest (people always say that, but when is one the highest? That would really be a little crazy, when you think about it. Hah, listen to me -- I'm a regular Jerry Seinfeld, noticing mundane things like that!), today's trip might rank at around an 8 -- not bad at all, not the best one ever. Just pretty darn good. And darn it, that's good enough for me.

It started off with some high marks ahead of time because I had heard that they were putting in a Tellersville National Bank right in the store, which just so happens to be the bank I use. I was excited, but I didn't want to get my hopes up, because I originally heard this from Frannie from next door, and she tends to make things up, like that time she said George Clooney was joining the community pool, and it was actually just a weird bachelor from downtown. But sure enough, when I got into the grocery store, there was the sign -- "Tellersville National Bank". It was amazing, and it was also a lucky thing, since I left my check uncashed in the hopes that the bank would be there! If it wouldn't have been, I would've had to make a trip right back out of the grocery store, and everyone in the place would've wondered what in the heck I was doing, popping in there and then leaving again! They might have thought I was a terrorist or something! We are on one of the higher-colored alerts, you know.

After the bank, I started my rounds, spending a little time on deciding which end to start at, but ultimately going with the left end -- that way, I could put the cold stuff in the cart last! It was a good idea, and I congratulated myself by throwing a yogurt with little chocolate balls in the top into my cart. I shouldn't eat such sweet stuff like that, because I'm trying to lose some weight, but you have to reward your brain for thinking of good ideas, and chocolate is a good way to do that. It really is, you know -- I read in an article in People that it sends similar pleasure signals to your brain as some drugs do! Not that I'm a drug addict, of course -- I gave up the meth years ago -- but it's a nice way to treat yourself, all the same.

Eventually, I came to the deli counter, where I had to buy some cheese for sandwiches. Now, I enjoy getting the Boar's Head brand American cheese, but only when it's cheap enough. So you can imagine my disappointment when I saw the price for the Boar's Head was over $6 a pound!

"Can I help you, ma'am?" the nice-looking cashier boy asked me.

"Oh, I wish!" I said, laughing. "You could put some more money in my bank account and make me rich enough to buy some fancy cheese!"

"Uh," he said, shuffling around behind the counter. "What?"

"Oh, I'm just an old tease," I said. "Anywho, I'll have a pound of your house brand American cheese."

He got it for me, and then I was off again.

After getting some decent cereal bargains and finding an interesting sounding spice to try ("Sage", it was a wise man!), I ended up at the prepackaged lunch meat section. It was there that the grocery store redeemed itself a little bit from the lunch cheese incident, because each pack of meat was only $1.79 -- $0.30 less than normal! It was very, very exciting!

"Holy shit!" I cried, grabbing the packages and sniffing them to make sure the meat wasn't rancid. "Holy fucking shit, that is some cheap fucking shit!"

The nice-looking stock boy came over to see what all the hubbub was about (I'm surprised he wasn't going nuts over the crazy deals himself!), and he said, "Are you okay, ma'am?"

"Well, sure, but you guys might not be!" I joked with him, still running my hands over the box to make sure it was real. "These deals are pretty crazy after all!"

"I'm...sorry?" he said, and then he was off, using his muscles to stock the food right back on the shelf for me to buy next week!

Well, thanks to that last minute neat find -- and some pretty short lines, to boot -- the grocery store trip ended with being pretty good. I was hoping for excellent (that would be a "10" on our little scale we talked about before), but this was fine, too. We'll see about next week, though!

Nancy Normal is a full-time housewife in Tellersville, PA. In her spare time, she enjoys going to the grocery store.

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