Stopping Air Pollution: What Can YOU Do?

From the Environmental Protection Agency's formation in the 1970's to the more recent Kyoto Protocol debate, air pollution has been a long-time hotbed of debate and discussion. But party politics aside, it's obvious that air pollution is something that needs to be addressed; and contrary to what many people think, there are ways for an individual to make a difference. The Enduring Vision has outlined some of the more effective suggestions below:

- Refrain from exuding bodily gases into the atmosphere
Though belching and flatulence may be the source of humour in some social circles, the truth is that both activities can send harmful gases, including methane, into the Earth's fragile atmosphere.

- Evolve lungs that breathe pollution
Some argue that air pollution is not the problem -- it's man's primitive, oxygen-based set of lungs.

- Stuff old socks into car exhaust pipes
Automobiles are a major source of air pollution. A sock -- or, failing that, a golf ball -- is an excellent way to prevent harmful emissions from entering the atmosphere by sending them back into the car's engine, where they will harmlessly dissipate.

- Tell others about air pollution prevention
Although you may choose to undertake some of the suggestions listed here, there are plenty of those who will not. If you witness somebody partaking in an activity which causes air pollution, approach them and kindly inform them of their folly.

- If others do not consent to your suggestions, kill them
Some people simply cannot be changed from their harmful ways, and therefore are beyond rehabilitation. Wipe them out before they destroy humanity.

- Violently destroy air-polluting factories
Those smokestacks are bad news for the atmosphere, and the harsher you are to them, the more your message will be spread. Good suggestions for putting a stop to the factories include pipe bombs and other explosives.

- Disconnect spark plugs of your vehicle and vehicles in your neighborhood
We cannot stress the harmful effects of automobiles enough. Without spark plugs, you and your neighbors will be unable to drive your cars, no matter how tempted you are.

- Use catchy slogan, "I care about the air!"
Fun sayings such as this are a sure-fire way to get people dedicated to your cause.

- Use catchy slogan, "Pollution fucking sucks!"
This operates on the same principle as the previously mentioned slogan.

- Warn people that if they pollute, they are with bin Laden
Nobody wants to be with terrorists.

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