Letters: February 23, 2009

Here are a few of the millions of letters we received this past week. We chose to publish these at random, giving normal, everyday people a chance to be heard, even over letters from President Obama and the Pope.

The EV: An Academic Resource.

Hey!!! I am using your website to help with a rhetorical analysis paper. I am specifically doing the articles about the mother of octuplets. I am having trouble finding who wrote the article and when it was published. Could please help me with this or tell me HEY STUPID IT'S RIGHT HERE!!! I would greatly appreciate it!!! - Kevin

Josh: We stopped including author names on the articles after the Department of Homeland Security began threatening some of our staff. Apparently, we routinely reveal national security secrets, so terrorists, uh, please don't look!

All About Our Stuff.

You guys do good stuff. (And don't tell me you get tired of hearing it) - Jim (dude with tude)

Josh: We would surely never tell you such a thing, sir! Many thanks.

Ending On A Good Note.

you are a fucking moron! you artical is the most retarded pile of shuit ive ever seen in my life! Why would you lie to people like that you say alcohol is better well alcohol causes 85,000 anual death and marijuana causes 0. You say there was a bunch of people that died from marijuana in 04 or something

quote from your bullshit :

Realize that your personal marijuana use is killing society
Much like gay marriage, private marijuana usage in one's own home is not the "victimless crime" it's made out to be in the media and Hollyweird: statistics show that over four million people died in 2004 alone from people besides themselves smoking marijuana.

So where are you getting these stats? They are not real! Nobody has ever died from marijuana ever! Your a fucking IDIOT!!!

And how the fuck is gay mariage killing society? because it makes your gay ass think about coming out of the closet?

Why dont you keep your hick ass views to your self you fucking faggot ass liar!!!!!!!! - Jonathon Sebeck

Josh: You know what I think, Jonathon? I think that you're the gay liar. I also think that your letter is practically proof that you smoke marijuana all the time, so I'm calling the cops, even though by now, you're probably already dead from getting too high.

In Other News

Conservationists Fear Dwindling Park Space Reduces Places Kids Can Safely Get High (07/13/10)

Area Man's Use Of Pay Phone Angers, Confuses Coworkers (07/11/10)

LeBron James Announces Plan To Follow In Jordan's Footsteps, Play For Birmingham Barons Minor League Squad (07/08/10)

Anti-Incumbent Sentiment In Washington Kills Senator Robert Byrd (06/28/10)

The Enduring Vision: A Documentary In Two Parts (06/21/10)

Your Letters Answered (06/17/10)

U.S. Identifies Vast Deposits Of Unobtainium In Afghanistan (06/16/10)

BP Points Out That Oil Spill Could Give Rise To Toxic Avenger Style Superhero (06/14/10)

Area Man Definitely Counting That Walk To The Mailbox As Today's Exercise (06/10/10)

Even More Shit:



The Beast

RSS Feed

Paying The Bills: