Letters: April 16, 2006

We initially wanted to keep the EV on hiatus for another week to further rot our brains with videogames, but something stopped us. It was you, readers, and how we imagined your poor innocent faces filling with sadness as you realized your precious letters would go another week unanswered. Thanks for making us feel obligated, jerks.

The question was "Would you buy an EV CD?"

I would totally buy an EV CD because I have a deep and uncontrolled lust for Josh Righter. Seeing as Josh is putting the cds together that means that he would have touched the cd and case. Nothing would give me greater pleasure than to rub them all over my body! Unless of course he signed them or something! For that I would pay like $5!! ($5 total, not on top of purchase price, I'm not made of money.) - jen

Josh: What if I enclosed a special picture (or hand-drawn approximation) of myself? $7.50? We need to milk this thing for all it's worth!

More Josh-love.

I love you Josh. Please let my love grow by listing your other sites so that I may laugh at your wit and then steal their formats for my own diabolical ends. Did I mention I love you? Love - LoveKnuckle xxx

Josh: Sorry, but none of the other websites I have designed for people are very funny...unless you happen to laugh at things like garden shows and art courses.

Switching gears to Bush-love.

i love george bush
he has leading america into a bright future
- EkLypZ

Josh: In the future, tenses were meaningless!

A mysterious letter.

I just cryed a small river in my living room, from laughter because of the outrageous comments in this article. They were really funny. Toward the end it became a little extreme, but overall it was humurous. By the way i'm a black female...maybe you should write to Dave Chappell and ask to be a guest on his show, i bet that would be even funnier. p.s. its not that serious, black people are not near as ridiculous as you think and if you knew anything about black history or of your own american and european history you would have a better understanding of everyone's behaviors toward one another. also, that part of new orleans was one of the worst povertized ghetto's in the usa. do your research...they were a really paranoid group of folk. bye now. - Mila C.

Josh: I don't get it...at first you sounded like you got the joke, but then you kind of sounded angry. My whiteness doesn't permit me to understand!

Our Biblical expertise is questioned.

I'm a bit confused about the No. 1 revelation of the Gospel of Judas. Are you referring to the payment of 30 pieces of silver to Judas for betraying Jesus? Cause if that's the case, then you're a bit off - according to the canonical gospels, it was the chief priests who paid Judas, not Pontius Pilate.

Or if you're referring to something else, then I guess I'm not sophisticated enough to get your jokes. Which may or may not be a good thing.

Okay sorry for being anal, but lies are funnier if they're based on truth. - JZ Burdge

Josh: You're probably reading a different version of the Bible. Try the King Larry translation. If you can't find it, it went out of print somewhere between me typing this and you reading it.

Everyone wants a piece of our riches.

Recently i.e. during January 2006 we have started a school for the under privileged at a village called Jhulasahiof Mohana block of Gajapati ( dist.)of Orissa India. Out of the 20 children admitted six are brought from unapproachable hilly terrains. These canot move to and fro from the school to their houses and hence they are accommodated in a house. Can you sponsor the food for these children?Kindly reply
Yours sincerely
P.C.Thomas
Managing Trustee
Susi Charitable Trust
Cherith villa,N-5/460, Nayapalli
I.R.C.Village, Bhubaneswar, Orissa,India
- Dr.P.C.Thomas

Josh: Although The Enduring Vision is one of the richest websites on the Internet, I'm sad to report that we could not possibly condone a donation to a village with an obviously made-up name like Jhulasahiof Mohana. Why would they name their town something I can't pronounce?!

GOD.

I believe it does matter who is running for governor because these children out here need someone they need to look up to. It does matter what you believe. I mean come on, they have tried taking GOD out of everything. When you take him out, he takes alot with him. Try putting GOD back in schools and and letting him do the work and lead you in the steps you shoud go in. You know when there is only one set of footprints in the sand, he is really carrying you. - Sarah

Josh: If God is carrying me when I walk, he's the worst carrier ever, because my legs sure feel like they're doing most of the work. Perhaps he has a painful foot fungus of some sort? Let us know!

Probably the same person as above.

This is for the author of this article i wanted to point out that he only used one source and the opinion of only one guy(brodson) for this article, so i would suggest not to mention in his intro that "SEVERAL Christian groups" ae against star wars because that kinda makes it seem like most of religious people are crazy! I am a christian and i love star wars and i take it just as what it is as Story for entretainment. and what about the people that are trying to make "The Force" a real religion? those are the real crazy ones! - Geraldine Lamberti

Josh: You love Star Wars? Too bad, "Christian", because the Lake of Fire is real, and you will see Yoda there soon enough.

Probably the same person as above, part II.

Have you completely lost your mind the homeless man isnt jesus and you need to do some soul searching and go back to the beggining in order to find the end. - Tammy

Josh: All right, who linked the site on a combination Christian/fans of horrible cliches with no meaning newsgroup?

See, Mila: he gets it!

i like this. i understand where the young cat is coming from. he's addressing a serious concern that many whites have about and feel toward black people and giving it a houmous twist to soften the blow. isn't that what humor and art do? - joseph

Josh: Joseph, your letter isn't anything extraordinary, but in this sea of letters that are hopelessly adrift, yours is like a stalwart anchor.

A great ending.

salut ca va bbien tein se site - salamat abdlhadi

Josh: Having very rudimentary Spanish skills, I thought I recognized some Spanish in there, but an online translator didn't seem to agree for the most part. Whatever it says, I'm sure it's love. Thanks!

In Other News

U.S.
Conservationists Fear Dwindling Park Space Reduces Places Kids Can Safely Get High (07/13/10)

U.S.
Area Man's Use Of Pay Phone Angers, Confuses Coworkers (07/11/10)

Sports
LeBron James Announces Plan To Follow In Jordan's Footsteps, Play For Birmingham Barons Minor League Squad (07/08/10)

Politics
Anti-Incumbent Sentiment In Washington Kills Senator Robert Byrd (06/28/10)

Video
The Enduring Vision: A Documentary In Two Parts (06/21/10)

Letters
Your Letters Answered (06/17/10)

World
U.S. Identifies Vast Deposits Of Unobtainium In Afghanistan (06/16/10)

U.S.
BP Points Out That Oil Spill Could Give Rise To Toxic Avenger Style Superhero (06/14/10)

Health
Area Man Definitely Counting That Walk To The Mailbox As Today's Exercise (06/10/10)

Even More Shit:

twitter

HumorFeed

The Beast

RSS Feed

Paying The Bills:

--------------------