Letters: May 11, 2009

We figured it was time, once again, to make a select few of you feel special by answering your letters. If you're feeling lonely or worthless, don't waste valuable time and money on counseling -- just write us a letter instead!

We Finally Beat Rob Zombie.

Wow, You should publish a book and then make a movie.....Rob Zombie has met his match..... - Tammy

Josh: Plus, we never had a racist band. "White Zombie"? Ouch, Rob.


I'm sure Hilary Duff would love that comment "Hilary Duff is for young girls". Have you seen the Reach Out video? clearly an adult music video and there are lots of adults that like her as well as kids do. - Steve

Josh: Out of all the things to comment on in that article, you picked out a throwaway line about Hilary Duff? Bonus alternate response: hahaha, adults liking Hilary Duff.

A Discussion About Future Masturbation Technologies.

Your article about technology rings true at present, but in the near future, we can have the best of both world: imagine bionic hands that never get tired. Hey, if you can put a seat-warmer in a Lincoln, you can set temperature controls in a hand, with 40 different speeds and settings. - Edward Turbo-Hands

Josh: That sounds like a Nobel Prize-winning invention, but it's always been our experience that hands are not really the thing that eventually gets tired.

In Other News

Conservationists Fear Dwindling Park Space Reduces Places Kids Can Safely Get High (07/13/10)

Area Man's Use Of Pay Phone Angers, Confuses Coworkers (07/11/10)

LeBron James Announces Plan To Follow In Jordan's Footsteps, Play For Birmingham Barons Minor League Squad (07/08/10)

Anti-Incumbent Sentiment In Washington Kills Senator Robert Byrd (06/28/10)

The Enduring Vision: A Documentary In Two Parts (06/21/10)

Your Letters Answered (06/17/10)

U.S. Identifies Vast Deposits Of Unobtainium In Afghanistan (06/16/10)

BP Points Out That Oil Spill Could Give Rise To Toxic Avenger Style Superhero (06/14/10)

Area Man Definitely Counting That Walk To The Mailbox As Today's Exercise (06/10/10)

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