Letters: June 25, 2006

We've been watching reruns of Beavis and Butthead lately, and we think that each edition of the Letters should be prefaced with a little segue in the style of the pre-commercial break pieces from that show. For example, "Coming up on this edition of the Letters: a reader inherits millions from his dead grandmother, but gives it away to a woman, who dies."

Starting with love.

That North Korea penis thing? Best article for ages!! Couldn't stop laughing! Is there anything better than a few dick jokes? - acrossthepond

Josh: No, and that's actually been scientifically proven. Dick jokes are better than anything in the entire universe.

But not for long!

Damn you Americans! Do you know nothing? In that picture accompanying the 'Israel ties Palestine 0-0' article, you have a picture of a MEXICAN footballer (oh I'm sorry 'soccer-er'). Maybe this is some kind of Freudian way of showing how much you hate Mexicans? Plus like that other guy said, you reused the mushroom cloud pic. Be ashamed, be very, very ashamed. - acrossthepond

Josh: Stop yelling at me! I play Winning Eleven on my Playstation 2!

A letter about Goth Gary that isn't retarded?!

Any sign of Goth Gary? - Rob Delaney

Josh: I'm not sure if you've seen what was recovered from his house a few weeks back, Rob, but other than that I'm afraid he's still MIA. Some speculate he may have switched over to the emo fad, but is too ashamed of this to face his readers.

Government surplus that isn't boring?!


This is the (U.S) Government's defense surplus auctioning page.
[Insert punchline here]

1. Wonder when that nuclear reactor's coming up for bidding. My new house has a huge back yard.

2. Terrorist Target (that was almost TOO clever).

3. What to get for the man/woman who has everything ? How about... A GUIDED MISSILE LAUNCHER !

I'm done.

P.S : Yeah, i looked through it, and most of the listed items looked benign. At least not openly lethal. But you never know..one man's surplus is another man's vital piece in the jigsaw puzzle of the quest for world domination. Just hope no one from the Axis of Evil accesses this link. Is my IP logged ? I've said too much... - Siddharth

Josh: Haha, I like the "Nuclear Reactors" category. I'll be watching that one closely because I'm tired of my damn electric bill.

This is a good one.

I'd like to get in contact with Snoop Dogg. There is a young man in Memphis who idolizes him. It would undoubtedly lift his spirits if Mr. Snoop gave him a call, sent some autographed pictures, etc or some other kind of memorobilia. He even wears his hair in ponytails like Snoop - P THOMAS

Josh: I can't set you up, but it sounds like you could be his new idol instead, P Thomas, because that's a sweet rapper's name if I ever saw one. Throw in a few "heezys" and the young man probably won't even know the difference.


the poem was gross but the hot topic thing is soooo true - sierra

Josh: No, the poem was beautiful and dark and scary. Not gross. You are not a true goth.

Laughing my fucking ass off.

lmfao!!! I needed that, thanks - Alex

Josh: You're welcome!

Warning: explicit material ahead.

im horny - bob mcgregor

Josh: Our website tends to have that effect on people.

In Other News

Conservationists Fear Dwindling Park Space Reduces Places Kids Can Safely Get High (07/13/10)

Area Man's Use Of Pay Phone Angers, Confuses Coworkers (07/11/10)

LeBron James Announces Plan To Follow In Jordan's Footsteps, Play For Birmingham Barons Minor League Squad (07/08/10)

Anti-Incumbent Sentiment In Washington Kills Senator Robert Byrd (06/28/10)

The Enduring Vision: A Documentary In Two Parts (06/21/10)

Your Letters Answered (06/17/10)

U.S. Identifies Vast Deposits Of Unobtainium In Afghanistan (06/16/10)

BP Points Out That Oil Spill Could Give Rise To Toxic Avenger Style Superhero (06/14/10)

Area Man Definitely Counting That Walk To The Mailbox As Today's Exercise (06/10/10)

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