Man Relieved To Not Be Famous

Greg Robinson is a man who wants to thank the world at large for the continued anonymity it has granted him, and for not having inspired him to seek anything resembling fame or fortune out of life.

Robinson said, in an interview to local high school paper reporters, that he is grateful and humble for every adoring fan that he does not have.

"I do truly appreciate the support that other people got instead of me, which gave me the kind of opportunities that only Sheboygan [Wisconsin] could offer," said a thankful Robinson. "Just think if I would have been transplanted to Hollywood or Manhattan to be big and famous -- I'd never have met my wife [Sheila], had my daughter Verna and five sons all named 'Bob', nor paid off my three bedroom ranch style on Pleasant Drive."

Chuckling, Robinson added with amusement, "As if a penthouse overlooking Central Park has anything in it for me!"

Robinson claims to have come dangerously close to missing his chance to go nowhere. As a wide receiver on Sheboygan high school's football squad, he almost chose a partial scholarship to the University of Wisconsin over the position at the factory that was being vacated by his father, Hank Robinson, whose uncontrollable alcoholism got him fired in '78, thus necessitating the junior Robinson to become the family's breadwinner. Other close calls like opting to give up beer after a crazy night in '80, the closing of Homer's Pub in '82, and a critically acclaimed performance in the Sheboygan Community Theater's production of "Goldfinger" in which he portrayed "Odd Job" with stunning stoicism and vacancy nearly derailed his career as A-lister at Community Dart Night.

"Just think how many people might have known his name and what kinds of places he may have gone if his dad had held out for a few more years, and Greg had gone to school and married some cheerleader, then headed off to a big city to become a star," said wife Sheila. "And that would have just been the start. With his many skills, it's amazing that he isn't on the cover of every Sports Illustrated or Men's Health magazine, but thank goodness that none of that ever happened, because if it had he never would have earned that star on the Walk of Shame at Billy's Tavern."

Earning the prestigious award, Robinson's wife said, was no easy task. It was only through believing in himself and in his family to let him back in the house that Robinson was able to drink the half beer, half warm milk concoction to put him on the top of his world.

"While some people strive to grind their own coffee beans, I am still yearning for the day when I can live close enough to a strip mall that has a Starbucks," said Robinson, "and what a relief it is. If things were otherwise, I might be worried about the quality of coffee I'm drinking, but alas I am perfectly content to drink Hills Brothers. If I were famous, this 'ere Folgers would never do."

Robinson's gratefulness at not having to know whether one beer is technically better than the other, or if the steak he is eating is from grade-A Angus beef or just Ponderosa's $5.99 special, is surpassed only by his family's thankfulness for him being around all the time.

"Daddy doesn't run off and desert us like Brad Pitt and all those people you read about in the tabloids and things in the supermarket," said daughter Verna. "He barely even leaves the house ever since the factory shut down, and that's the sign of a good father."

Robinson's daughter did mention that getting an iPod for her birthday would be nice, but if her daddy was able to afford that, then she might find herself wanting a nice car, a bike or a pair of diamond earrings too.

"Claire's does her just fine," said the proud father. "And I'll take Planet Hollywood on our yearly trip to Chicago any day over the real Hollywood -- yes sir-ee."

Robinson said that he finds it a blessing to go anywhere and be left alone, when, for example, he takes his family to Denny's after church. He continues to be grateful for the recognition that his life's achievements do not receive, lest someone say or write something nasty about him.

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