Nine Year-Old Pianist Tired Of Playing Hit Song For Family Audience

The enormous success of Timothy Curran's performance of Ludwig Van Beethoven's classic "Fur Elise" has taken a heavy toll on the 9 year-old pianist, judging from reports from friends, family, and Curran himself -- the piece has become the most asked-for and admired song in the child's musical catalogue, a fact that has perturbed and upset the "adorable" little pianissimo to the point of mental breakdown.

The wooing, kisses from old relatives, cheek-pinches by uncles, and other constant admonition over being "so adorable and talented" have all apparently failed to sustain Curran's satisfaction with his elevated status -- finding fame to be a double-edged sword, Little Timothy has refused to play his greatest popular success for family and friends alike, even at the pleading requests of admirers. Even the urging by managers Dean and Ellen Curran to return to playing the song with the newness and soul that originally made so many happy have failed to inspire the 9 year-old, who would prefer to play different pieces.

"Why doesn't anyone want to hear me play 'Indian War Chant'?" cried Little Timmy to his mother, Ellen, who on Tuesday had asked the boy to play his hit song for guests Mark and Marsha Waters from across the street. "I hate that song and I hate Beethoven! Aaahhh!"

Curran then reportedly ran immediately up to his room, where he threw his toys at the walls and pounded his fists on the bed, mirroring the harrowing mental collapse of Bob Geldof's character Pink in the rock opera Pink Floyd's "The Wall".

After additional repeated demands to know why no one wants to hear any of the other songs he half-knows, or new ones he's been working on, Curran's father Dean attempted to calm the struggling luminary by telling him, "But you play it so well, and everyone loves you for it!"

"Maybe we milked that one big success for all that it was worth and pigeonholed him," later stated the father of the hit maker, "but now that he's established himself, he's rebelling against his notoriety. He says he wants to try to cover new ground and try something by Schubert, but I don't think that Grandma and Grandpa would like that one as much. I don't know much about classical music, but doesn't everyone want to hear lovely, lovely Ludwig Van?"

Coming from humble beginnings, Curran first impressed small audiences limited mostly to immediate family members and Grandparents with songs like "Camptown Races" and "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow" before attaining renown with performance after performance of the 19th century hit. The flawless presentation of Beethoven's nearly universally-admired composition skyrocketed the child from the limitations of the out-of-tune piano in his parents' basement to the baby grand in Grandma and Grandpa's living room, where he became a fixture at parties and holiday celebrations.

"He's just so cute when he plays that piece by...I think it's Mozart," said Grandmother Jean as Grandpa Rufus nodded in agreement. "Lately, though, he's been getting very experimental with other songs that he either can't play right, or aren't as pretty or well-known as that one song he always plays – what's it called? For Alicia? He could just play that one song all day for me if he wants -- the other stuff is nice but just not the same."

Little Timmy has grudgingly performed Beethoven's classic on several occasions following his collapse, despite his hatred for the audience, spite for his own success, and desire to tread new waters. During the most recent performance, a clearly distracted and fidgety Curran, eyes glazed and shiftless, played the song at nearly double the typical tempo, causing his mother to intervene and tell him to, "Slow it down a bit and play it like you always used to." The suggestions lead the young musician into a towering rage as he proclaimed his artistic individuality and integrity as an interpreter of music.

"It's my song! I'll play it however I want too!" sobbed the creatively suffocated performer. "You learn how to play it if you like it so much!"

Curran is not without sympathizers like older cousin Rand Aron, 21.

"Man, I've been there and it's a hard life to live," said Aron. "No one in the family ever cared that I could play [Billy Joel's] 'Piano Man', which is all that I could do, but every day in high school some asshole would ask for that song so everyone could sing along. Do you know how annoying 'dah dah dah daaa dah dah dadada' gets? That shit stays with you forever man - it haunts your dreams."

Despite his disillusionment with music, Curran intends to seek new venues for his craft in order to find a more open-minded and accepting audience, possibly at Show and Tell next week where he plans to debut Cornelius Gurlitt's "Anyone Home?" from Classical Masterworks Volume 2 of the Bastien Sheet Music for Beginners series.

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