Hussein To Film Public Service Announcement As Punishment For War Crimes

Former Iraqi dictator and cruel despot Saddam Hussein has been ordered by the recently empowered Iraqi governing counsel to film a public service announcement as punishment for war crimes and crimes against humanity, amongst other violations of international treaties.

"Mr. Hussein shall send a message to other aspiring dictators that blind ambition, power craving and genocide, to name a few despicable aspirations, will only get you deposed in the end," said Salam Chalabi, head of the Iraqi Special Tribunal. "These would-be dictators will also surely be scared of the threat of having to make similar public service announcements, should they be caught."

Leaders from nations such as the United States of America and Great Britain have expressed the desire to see Hussein dead or held indefinitely in one of the prisons he built to torture innocent Iraqi civilians, but all have conceded that a PSA to the world would be a great step in the battle against terrorism and authoritarianism around the globe...and perhaps "just as good" as an execution or lifelong imprisonment, to boot.

"Should the greatest autocrat of our time step forward and tell the world that ruling with an iron fist and slaughtering the innocent people of one's own country is bad," said U.N. President Kofi A. Annan, "the leaders of other rogue nations whose hearts are bent on committing unspeakable acts of evil and propagating the suffering of others might think twice about their actions. It really just speaks to everyone a lot more than a routine execution or boring old imprisonment."

President Bush, in a recorded message for al-Jazeera Television, agreed.

"The free nations of this world must send a clear message to the evil-doers of this world that holocaust is a thing of the past," he said. "Some might say that the lethal gassing of men, women and children is just evidence of insecurity or a cry for love and acceptance, but the message must be loud and clear: mass-murderers only end up being hated, and given tough love."

A preliminary script for the video calls for a shot of Saddam Hussein immediately after capture by American troops to be shown, below which will scroll the words, "It doesn't always end up here…" This will be followed by a panoramic view of hundreds of dead Kurds with the taper at the bottom of the screen reading, "...but it often starts here." After that, a dramatic black screen, overlaid with the white text: "Think before you dictate." The text is also to be narrated by Mr. Hussein himself.

At a recent trial hearing, however, a defiant Saddam Hussein, continuing to insist that his trial is an international farce and that George W. Bush is the true criminal, said, "I will film no such PSA!"

Hussein added that he would not appear in a film not directed by former Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, or "this Moore fellow I keep hearing about."

As a testament to the desire for a video to be produced, with or without Hussein's consent, an unauthorized video has surfaced, showing an animated Hussein at the height of his power making a speech to the citizens of Iraq. The speech was overdubbed with the sounds, "Moch-ma-moch-mahw… owfph-a-mock-ma-ma-ma-mawww-mah-mah," imitating the voices of the adults from the loveable "Peanuts" cartoons. The caption at the bottom of the screen read in Arabic and English, "Does it really matter what they say? Never trust a dictator."

The effect of the video on the Arab world and on the world at large has yet to be seen, but the tribunal responsible for the punishment of Mr. Hussein continues to pressure him into compliance with his sentence. Coalition and Iraqi leaders believe that a finished PSA with Saddam Hussein's full cooperation will be the nail in the coffin of despotism and terrorism.

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