Obama's Name Still Not Added To Many Computer Dictionaries, Spell Checkers

Pictured: an un-American spell check program.

A new report out today from the thinktank Center for Law and Policy found that spell checkers on nearly all modern computers and computer programs have not been updated to accept President Obama's first and/or last name as a recognized word.

Proper names of historical figures, such as some U.S. Presidents, are commonly added to computer dictionaries; that Obama's so far has not been, says Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL), constitutes "high treason".

"When I noticed that my Firefox [internet browser] put a red underline under the word 'Obama' in my Google search for 'where to buy obama collectors coins', I was appalled," said Durbin. "Clearly, this is another example of the Republicans -- who I can only assume developed Firefox -- not working together with us to help our great country."

Durbin said that he fears that without proper recognition in computer dictionaries, the public will quickly forget about Obama, and become confused.

"We already have people who believe that 'ur' is the accepted spelling of 'your'. Most of those who do know how to spell 'your' don't realize that it's different from 'you're'. These are the people who are most reliant on their computers to reaffirm to them who the current President is."

Durbin has proposed setting aside $89 billion in economic recovery funds to undertake a massive update of all computer code to ensure that "Barack", "Barak", "Obama", "Nobama", and "ObamaSecretMuslim" are not flagged by any spell checkers. The investment would also provide large signs reading "Barack Obama is the President right now" to people without computers.

Many Americans support Durbin's plan, according to the two Americans that were interviewed for this story.

"I'm sure Fox News -- or 'Faux' News, as me and the 10 million people who thought of that before me like to call it -- would love to keep Obama's name out of the dictionary forever," scoffed Denise Thurston, 34. "But we're going to make sure his historical presidency is remembered, and spelled correctly, for years to come."

"'Bush' is in the dictionary, and George W. Bush was a terrible president!" exclaimed Thurston's husband, Dom. "So why else have that word in there? Exactly -- because Republicans are insane."

For its part, Fox News will cover this story "as accurately as possible", according to Chris Wallace, who hosts a "pubic affairs show" called Fox News Sunday.

Above: Google's description of Fox News Sunday with Chris Wallace.

"The idea of some sort of right-leaning bias at our news station is absurd," he said. "We intend to cover the facts and ask the tough questions, such as 'Are dictionaries with Barack Obama's name in them teaching our children to become literate thugs?'"

Wallace then excused himself to prepare an upcoming segment on how to best maintain one's pubic hair during a recession.

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