French World Cup Fans Hoping For Racial Slur

The world, and especially France, tensely waits as results come back from investigators, players, and lip-readers of the Italian and French World Cup Soccer teams.

While French fans are hoping that star player Zinedine Zidane's head-butting of Italy's Marco Materazzi was precipitated by a racial slur, Italian fans are praying that Materazzi is proven to have uttered a mere obscenity.

"We expect to find that Sr. Materazzi called Zidane nothing more incongruous than a 'mother-fuck son of a whore', or 'pig-fucking fucker'," said a spokesperson for Team Italy. "The possibility that one of our players would utter such a classless insult as a racial slur and not with the safer and more professional 'cocksucking prick' is absolutely impossible."

Others are not so sure. Many fans of the French squad, and French citizens, in particular, have suggested that Materazzi should not only have been head-butted, but killed on the spot if, in fact, he did utter anything racially incendiary or offensive.

"Zidane was perfectly justified in his response to what was obviously a racist comment!" shouted one French citizen, only in French. "Materazzi calling him 'like Jesus, if Jesus was made out of fucking shit' would be one thing, but I know there was racial overtones!"

The French also say that an insult concerning Zidane's mother would be a justifiable reason for the head-butting, as it would fall under the category of a severe "Yo' Mamma" joke, which is no laughing matter.

One reason why debate around what was actually said is so furious is because if the comment is found to be racist or motherist, the entire World Cup will have to be replayed, with Zidane restored to the team.

"Obviously, if Mr. Zidane was verbally taunted in a cruel manner, his head-butting becomes just part of the game, and not a penalty-worthy offense," said a FIFA official. "This means that this is a very worthy and significant discussion to be having, because the fate of the World Cup is riding on the outcome of it."

There is also the argument that if Zidane would not have had a mother or race in the first place, he never would've opened himself up to those kinds of insults, thus avoiding the incident entirely.

"I'm convinced that this whole thing is really Zinedine's fault, in a way," said one avid French fan, only in German, because he spoke it as a second language. "You can't have all kinds of baggage on the field with you and expect to be left alone. These players have to understand that by joining up for a team, they're opening not only themselves, but their mothers and even their entire race up to insults."

Many sports programs and websites are taking this opportunity to run retrospectives of other tense moments in sports, such as the time that Tiger Woods shot and killed a rival golfer for insinuating that he was black. But some fans believe moments like these distract from sportsmanship and the raw display of skill that sports are supposed to be focused on.

"Talk to me or any fan, and they'll tell you that they hate stuff like all of this nonsense," said one man interviewed directly after the World Cup, standing quietly by himself. "We're here to watch a spirited match, not see aggression and violence."

For Zidane's part, he says he is considering changing his name.

"Just hearing it all the time makes me realize how silly it sounds, and how hard it is to say," he said. "I think that's the one real lesson I've learned from all of this."

As for what Materazzi said, it appears that only he may know for sure, and he isn't giving specifics.

"I did say something to him, but it could have been anything," he said mysteriously. "It might even have been an invitation to please head-butt me, because I needed to rest on the ground for a little while."

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