Area Man Blows Horn, Clears Traffic Jam

Most commuters have had to deal with traffic at least once in their lives, if not hundreds of times. Unfortunately, it's usually a situation that cannot be altered by the commuter; the remedy often must come from a road or highway crew that could take a prolonged amount of time to reach the location where their help is required.

But, fed up with the gridlocked traffic that had kept him and his fellow commuters immobile for at least 20 minutes, Quakertown, PA resident Paul Shuler decided to deviate from the norm and do something unconventional: take charge of the situation himself.

"I just couldn't take it anymore," Shuler explained in an interview. "I didn't really have a specific time that I needed to be at my destination, but just the fact that I wasn't moving anymore rubbed me the wrong way. So I did something about it."

But what could Shuler possibly do that could rectify such a hopeless situation? The answer was literally right in front of him.

"I thought, 'There's got to be a way out of this,'" Shuler said, his brow creasing even at the memory of the situation. "And finally, after several seconds of thinking, the answer came: my horn."

Though Shuler's automobile had always had a horn, like most cars, it had never occurred to him to use it.

"I just didn't think a horn would be any good for clearing a traffic jam," he said. "Hell, even then I wasn't sure if it was going to work. But I gave it a shot."

Mustering his strength and resolve, Shuler placed his right hand upon his car's horn and proceeded to give it four "long, loud honks."

"I somehow knew that short little blasts wouldn't cut it," he said cunningly, "and I also knew that it needed to be as loud as possible. As for doing it four times, that was really just basically an arbitrary number."

Perhaps the number mattered; perhaps not. But after Shuler beeped his horn, something "extraordinary" happened.

"All of a sudden, the traffic began to smoothly move," he said, looking slightly astonished, as if he still couldn't believe his plan had worked. "It was as if my horn made the other drivers realize that they weren't stopped for any good reason at all."

Indeed, as the traffic cleared up, Shuler was passed by many drivers who "expressed their gratitude" at his ingenious solution.

"One guy said, 'Wow, thanks, man!'" Shuler recalled. "'If you hadn't have beeped your horn, we could've been here for hours!'"

One man even offered a life of servitude as thanks.

"'I'll be your slave forever,' he said," Shuler told us. "But I don't need a slave. I was just doing my part to help humanity."

Already, reports are pouring in of people using their horns to clear traffic jams worldwide, and there is even a rumor of the horn being renamed the "Shuler Traffic Clearing Device". But the always-modest Shuler "doesn't care" about all that.

"I'm just glad I could help everyone in these tough times," he said proudly. "So to any of you stuck in traffic out there, just follow my lead, and blow your horn as loudly and lengthily as possible!"

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