Did You Notice That I Haven't Stopped By Your Desk Since Yesterday?
I'm not sure if you noticed, but the guy that walked by your desk a few minutes ago without a question, an update on the Keirsling job, or a comment about the weather? That was me. I know that it must feel like I'm always pestering you with a question that I could answer myself, or that I'm always so amazed at how sunny, cloudy, or rainy it is outside as the case may be, but we haven't talked in awhile, so I thought I'd walk by to remind you that I haven't bothered you in any way today.
You have always been there for me, boss. That time when I couldn't figure out why every letter I typed was all uppercase (they don't teach that caps lock secret in college these days) -- I came to you. When I couldn't remember if we write 'Very Truly Yours' or 'Sincerely' at the end of our letters, you took time out of your meeting with the head of logistics to answer my query. I want to repay your generosity and patience by walking by your desk this time without saying a word. I'll just be on my way… it looks like your tutelage has finally stuck and the pup can hunt on his own.
You know what? There is a letter (speaking of letters) that I'm going to need you to sign so I can send it out by the end of the day. But you might not want to be bothered right now, so I'll just come back later when I need something else, and I'll remember to bring the letter with me. After all, I don't want to look like I'm trying to curry your favor by appearing constantly busy and using your guidance to do the best and more efficient job I can. No, I'll just walk by your desk without bringing attention to myself as if I was headed somewhere to do something important that doesn't require your help.
About that next time I stop by your desk: I'll also have to remember to tell you that I talked to the California office and, sure enough, they got the package that I UPSed them last night, just like you told me to do. I hope that you won't be distressed by the uncertainty of leaving very important documents with those Brown guys, or in the hands of a nebbish employee like myself, but you can rest assured that everything is fine and I'm really worth the money you pay me. I can't tell you how difficult it is to not share with you the fact that I successfully addressed and stamped a cardboard envelope for 10:30 AM next-day delivery, but since I can't tell you in the first place, I won't even get into it.
But they did get it. Everything's fine. Nothing to worry about. You can rely on me. I hope you already know that because I can't tell you right now.
I wonder if you've noticed that it's started raining outside. I'd love to mention it, because it might or might not affect your plans to go out for lunch, but I'm a man on a mission: I'm going to cruise on by, and you'll never be the wiser, no sir.
Have you noticed that I haven't even spoken to you today? Unless you count, "Good morning," that is. That doesn't necessarily mean that I'm getting things done the way you'd like to see them, but maybe that's what you're thinking, so I'll let you have this moment of me-less bliss.
Not that I'm actually aware of my propensity for being annoying, and even if I were still I'd want you to have this time to yourself. I'm sure you don't mind pausing in mid-thought as you struggle to complete that proposal to listen to the hilarious recap of my conversation with Mr. Keirsling's stuttering secretary, but I'll just keep that little secret to myself for now. You live down the street from the office, so you'll never know how bad traffic was coming out of the city today, but maybe the roads will be really bad tomorrow so I'll have lots of wacky tales to make up for today's hiatus.
But I don't want to get ahead of myself. I'll be back after lunch with some very important documents to sign and whatever questions I have that you and you alone can answer. Until then, forget that I was here, unless you didn't notice my comment-free gait past your office, in which case, I'll be back soon.