Remembering 9/11: What Can YOU Do?

This week, the first anniversary of the attacks on the World Trade Center will occur; and though virtually everyone agrees it will be a time of remembrance, some seem confused as to how to actually go about that for fear of being disrespectful or, conversely, not respectful enough. Luckily, the Enduring Vision has compiled a helpful list of suggestions for this Wednesday.


- Remind friends and loved ones about anniversary
Some people may not realize that the anniversary is occurring. Remind everyone you encounter that one year ago, America was attacked.

- Construct new twin towers in place of destroyed ones
People will appreciate having the towers restored, and you'll be doing something that pays remembrance to the attacks without being disrespectful.

- Run around wearing silly bin Laden mask
Everyone will get a good chuckle out of you making fun of everyone's favourite villain, Osama bin Laden.

- Drop a nuclear bomb on the Middle East, destroying everyone there
This will please many Americans, including the President himself!

- Compose rap song involving America, terrorism, and the anniversary
Expression through song is popular these days, and the subject of 9/11 is a perfect event to sing about -- just ask Bruce Springsteen.


- Urinate on "ground zero"
The sight of the attacks is hallowed ground to many Americans. Unless it's an emergency, try to refrain from urinating or defecating there.

- Attempt to duplicate attacks
While you may think that you are just paying a respectful tribute to the events of 9/11, some people may be offended by this, and may even accuse you of being a terrorist.

- Remove your shirt and paint an American flag on your chest
This may be a patriotic action, but let's face it: you don't have the physique that you used to. A flag on your lumpy, misshapen beer gut is a flag in disgrace.

- Watch "Collateral Damage"
This movie, starring the alleged "American" Arnold Schwartzenagger, is about terrorist attacks, and therefore should not be viewed by any patriotic American.

- Make fun of the anniversary via satirical online newspapers
September 11, 2001 is a very serious date that will be forever remembered by all who lived through it, and future generations as well. You probably should refrain from making fun of its anniversary. What the hell is wrong with you, anyway?

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